blurtvision

Prague, Czech Republic

2007-08-28T02:28:00.000-10:00

For the last big adventure we headed to Prague, the capital of the Czech Republic. Prague is renowned for being this super-hip place to vacation for Europeans, especially for groups of drunken Brits doing their whole bachelor/bachelorette party thing (they call them "stag and hen parties", which is much cooler in my mind). We flew again from Cologne and got there in about an hour (its just east of Munich/Vienna and south of Poland if you didn't know...I had to look it up). We stayed in a pretty nice hotel right near the center of the old town that used to be a stable, medieval gothic home, government building, and brothel. The central square in the old part of Prague has this really cool astronomical clock from the 15th century (it must have had upgrades given the sophisticated map of the earth it now incorporates). On the hour, the little statues around it toll the bells and small apostle figures rotate through now-opened doors above it and wave to the enormous crowds that gather to see it. Its incredibly anticlimatic, but people always clapped like idiots. I read later that the statues around the clock represent 4 things Czechs apparently despise: death, vanity, Jews, and Turks. Ah...nothing like xenophobic/antisemitic history for you. Also in the square is the landmark "Our Lady on Tyne" Church (or some shit like that). Sadly, the visiting hours were totally arbitrary and we didn't get in to see the grave of the famous astronomer Tycho Brahe (you know, the one who had a metal nose because his real one was cut off in a duel...and the one who died because he drank so much and "held it" in the company of the king that his bladder burst and caused a major infection).

Probably the most remarkable thing about Prague was the architecture. Literally everywhere you looked the buildings were beautifully ornate, with tons of detailed sculptures all over the place and often even full-color murals on them. If you could focus on looking up and around and not on trying not to wipe out on the cobblestones, you'd constantly be amazed by your surroundings. I took more pictures here than anywhere else in Europe (0.5 GB) because of this simple fact. On top of that, there's a nice river that bends around the city (the Vltava) that is especially photogenic at sunset. The bridges across it offer particularly nice vantage points for photos, and are a good place to people-watch.

On a hilltop on the opposite side of the river sits the enormous Prague Castle, the largest medieval castle in the world. From the exterior its not all that impressive until you're up close and can appreciate how big it is. Inside is a pretty incredible history museum documenting the last millenium or so of Prague's royalty, wars, and even general day-to-day life and culture. Many graves were found inside, including a very interesting "soldier's grave" containing the best preserved medieval sword ever found. Apparently even long after Christianity was introduced, people (and even royalty) were buried bound, joints dislocated, and covered in heavy rocks. Can't risk any zombies in Prague, I guess. The other part of the main castle building I thought was really cool was a collection of extremely old (maybe 600 years) books in a library-like room. They were huge bound things, probably hand-transcribed. In the courtyards there's a medieval monastery and nunnery with a bunch of old art, etc. (too lazy to see in detail). One of the corner towers had a "museum" about torture devices, and there was someone demonstrating blacksmith techniques. All very interesting. But, the gem of the castle is undoubtedly the enormous St. Vitus cathedral. This thing dominates the castle skyline, with its to dark towers ascending probably 10 stories. It is very similar to the Dom in Cologne, Germany (smaller) architecture-wise, with remarkably ornate stone exterior that looks like its just dripping with decoration. There's even a big golden metal-work on the side, along with ornate exterior murals, etc. The interior was very pretty, with stained-glass windows washing the walls in bright red and purple. Probably the most interesting part inside was the tomb of the beloved Bohemian "Good" King Wenceslas (as in the Christmas carol...funnily enough, there was a "Bad" King Wenceslas in the region several hundred years later), from the 11th century (that could be wrong).

Prague's Jewish quarter attracts tons of tourists to see its many synagogues and museums telling the story of 1000 years of local Jewish history. The museums were really fascinating, with a lot of rare information on such a long European history in the Bohemian and Monrovian kingdoms. Why does it still exist after so much war, etc.? Sickly enough, the Nazis were intentionally collecting all this information to create a museum of an "extinct race" here after they had destroyed all of Europe's Jews. The "Old-New" synagogue was particularly interesting. Created in the early 13th century, the building still stands and still holds services (when a minyan is available, usually thanks to tourists). Jackie described it best when she said that standing inside you can really appreciate that this place is extremely old (and yet remarkably similar to the more modern synagogues we've visited in eastern Europe). Once constituting 20% of Prague's population, more than 2/3 of Prague's 75,000 Jews were killed in the Holocaust, and today less than 2000 still live there (most of the rest of Czechoslovakia's rural Jews were killed or immigrated to Israel). The highlight of the Jewish quarter was undoubtedly the old cemetary, started in the 14th century and currently containing more than 12,000 graves. Its so old that the graves are all kinda tumbling on top of one another...its eerily beautiful. Inside is the grave of the "Maharal", Rabbi Low, who supposedly fashioned a living being from clay to protect Prague's Jews: the "Golem". This is really a charming (a bit depressing) fairy tale of Prague, but in some sense its one of my favorites. I bought a Golem coffee mug to use at my new job.

Oh, and finally some food facts. Food was heavy...often served with "dumplings" made of some extraordinarily dense, chewy combination of bread and potato and covered with gravy. Not a big fan. I had some good duck leg, stewed rabbit, and trout though. The beer (Pilsner Urquell, of course) was excellent and very cheap (~1 euro per 0.5L) in restaurants and bars. There were tons of pizza, pasta, and gelati places because Prague is loaded with Italian tourists. And this is where I say: "fuck you italian people. I hate you." Ask me another time...

Check out the additional photos by clicking here, or the sidelink.

Brussels, Belgium

2007-08-13T07:00:00.000-10:00

Before I came to Europe, I had these grandiose plans to visit the European microstates (like Lichtenstein, Andorra, Monaco, etc.). That is, until I realized they're really just tax-free shopping malls and estates for rich Europeans. So, the ideal compromise in my mind is Belgium. To get there, we took a cheap express train to Brussels, via Cologne and Liege. Apparently trains are some kind of Sean anesthetic...they make me so sleepy (unlike any other transportation system). The ride was very nice (when I was conscious)...Belgium is somehow much prettier than Germany. We spent an hour walking to our hotel in the center of the old city, when it should've taken about 15 minutes. This is my first formal, official complaint to Lonely Planet: your Brussels maps suck balls. In fact, I've noticed that the map quality in that series dramatically improves if you get the "Best of" books, rather than the more detailed full-country tomes. That's retarded.

Anyway, we eventually found our nice (and cheap!) hotel right next to the Grand Place, a nice courtyard/plaza ringed by a series of 17th century guild halls (like the brewers, archers, etc.). It was so picturesque that a disproportionate fraction of my Belgium pictures were taken here, at a variety of light levels. To be fair, we didn't come to Brussels to see the sights...we came to eat (mussels, frites, chocolates, waffles) and drink beer. So, for lunch we ate a kilo of steamed mussels each, some pommes frites (enh), and pilsner. Hooray for Belgium! We spent the afternoon wandering around in the old part of town, checking out the Grand Place, the royal palace and Bruxolles Park, and various statues, etc. Most important was Mannekin Pis, a little boy peeing. This is a pretty famous fountain, and what surprised me most was how incredibly small it was. While I appreciate the artist keeping it life-size, I was a bit confused why the little boy was totally ripped. This is a 4-year-old with giant abs, quads, etc. What the hell? Most people don't know it, but there's a little girl version too, squatting in the wall in some back-alley across the way from the Delerium Tremens cafe (mmm....pink elephant beer). Oddly enough, she's also ripped.

Anyway, we stopped off in the afternoon at the "Mort Subite", a beer bar near our hotel. This place really intrigued me: it looked and felt like your typical European cafe. Bright, airy, happy service. The only difference: everyone's drinking beer...only beer. Heaven? I had a couple of trappist beers, and Jackie enjoyed the lambics (I'll have a beer post explaining this all later). We grabbed a light-ish dinner, picked up some Belgian chocolates (that were so good your knees kinda buckle), and walked around for a while before ducking into this little hole-in-the-wall (literally) bar for some more beer. The next day we spent checking out some churches, the national art gallery (nice surrealist stuff in the basement: that is, the -8th floor....I felt like I should've been dropping bread crumbs to find my way out again), and the "museum" inside the Royal Palace. This latter adventure was very strange. The tour starts off like you'd expect...you know, a royal palace-y place. Gold trim, crystal chandeliers, beautiful art, woodworking, etc. Then, all of a sudden there's this room touting this Antarctic science project run by Belgian scientists...complete with animatronic people, fake snow, etc. What the hell? The exhibits become progressively more art gallery (shitty stuff), until we finally get to the room we came for in the first place. This palace is only open in the summer, and it has a room where the ceiling is a giant mural made up solely of iridiscent beetle wings from Thailand. It was a pretty spectacular blue or green (depending on the angle you looked at it), and was creepily large (it had to be 75 feet long and 25+ feet wide). That's a lot of dead beetles. Even stranger, the room was filled with physics demos. Why? I don't know. Belgium is fucking weird.

Anyway, now time for a little story about lunch that day. We beat the rush and sat down around 12:30 at this little restaurant on this cobbled lane lined with seafood places. There was another full table next to us. As usual, we ordered big pots of mussels and pommes frites and beer. Our waiter goes up a winding iron staircase in the back to deliver our order. A few minutes later he comes bolting down the stairs with another guy after him, lunging at him. At the bottom of the stairwell he gets jump-kicked (like Double Dragon-style) and tries to run through the bar. The attacker chases after him - throws a vicious uppercut right into his butt - and continues to punch and kick through the bar (I'm now watching this via the mirrored walls). The waiter is tossed through a bunch of glasses that fall and break and finally turns to defend himself from the blows in the doorway leading to the bathroom. He still eats a few punches and kicks (these guys fight like 8-year-olds), and convinces the attacker not to break a bottle and stab him. Eventually, someone drags the attacker away. It was fascinating, and pretty funny in retrospect. After he staunched the bleeding from his hand, the waiter smoothed out his shirt and continued to invite new guests in. I'm assuming they were brothers. Again, Belgium is fucking weird.

We had dinner at a Congolese place (remember? Belgium was a colonial power in Africa too!) and more beers at the Mort Subite. Before leaving the next day, we walked around a bit more, had the best mussels of the trip for lunch (and snails...mmm), and then walked down to the Cantillon brewery near the train station. For a few euros, you get this incredible tour of one of the last breweries anywhere to make authentic lambic-style beer, and a couple free sample glasses. It was really way more interesting than I thought it would be, and I promise to explain more in an all-encompassing beer post sometime soon.

To summarize, Belgium was a rather odd place. But, it was gastronomically excellent, and the beer is better than anywhere else on Earth....there, I said it. If I had to live in Europe, it might be in Brussels.

Budapest, Hungary

2007-08-02T04:52:00.000-10:00

For a more substantial weekend getaway, we flew to Budapest, Hungary. Why? I thought it sounded cool a few months ago and had a cheap airfare. We woke up at 4am Saturday in Bonn and - after the usual airport wait - landed there after a short 1.5 hour flight. Hungary is a relatively new EU member and has yet to adopt the euro. The airport exchange rate sucked, but we got enough forint to pay for the mini-bus to our hotel. As advertised, this was a very nice place literally right on the west bank of the Danube River, the Buda side. Did you know that before a bridge linked them in 1873, Budapest was actually 2 cities, Buda and Pest? It sounded silly to me, but I'm not making that shit up. After dumping our bag and getting more cash (which, incidentally, is the coolest-looking currency I've ever encountered), we hiked up cobbled lanes into the walled medieval city around Buda Castle.

There's a little neighborhood up there, along with the castle (now housing the Hungarian National Art Gallery and a History museum), some hotels, restaurants, cafes, parks, statues, and churches. We checked out some of the views down to the Danube for a while and looked at some of the ancient homes and buildings being excavated. After walking around for a while, I desperately needed lunch. We stopped at a little outdoor restaurant: I had goulash soup, chicken and doughy stuff with a paprika sauce, and some kind of sour cherry/plum pastry. Jackie ate salad and fried goose liver pancakes. (food info for Liz.) It was good...heavy, but I was hungry. Next stop was the Mattias Church, with some pretty interesting medieval architecture and very ornate wooden ornamentation inside. My pictures turned out kinda crappy because of the low light. They had some interesting historical displays that included a skull and someone's (saint? martyr?) mummified finger. I love that kind of ridiculous stuff. We spent a good chunk of the afternoon in the art gallery inside the castle, and then stopped at a cafe for the traditional afternoon coffee and cake. I had a double espresso and cream cake (just what it sounds like...good God), and Jackie ate a giant chocolate cake and chocolate drink. Before we left, we had to check out the views from the Fisherman's Bastion, this beautiful stone structure hanging off the edge of the hill, that looks down on the Danube and the Pest side of the river. The red-domed building is the Hungarian Parliament, which was basically the close-up view we had across the river from our hotel room (awesome). After a bit of rest, we went to the bridge next to our hotel. There was some major festival thing on it over the weekend: filled with booths selling souvenirs, food, beer, and playing music, it was open only to (mobs of) pedestrians. We ate some skewered turkey with vegetables and potatoes along with Soproni, the local Heineken-like beer. I'm pretty sure we were asleep by 10pm (not too bad considering when we got up).

The next morning (after an incredible free breakfast from the hotel), we walked across the bridge to the Pest side and headed for the old Jewish ghetto. We quickly found the incredible Dohány Synagogue, the largest in the world outside of New York (ha! take that Jerusalem!). It had a pretty interesting - very moorish - external architecture, but the inside was spectacular. Sadly, I was too cheap to pay for the photo rights, so look at the pictures on the bottom of the wikipedia page. Extremely ornate inlaid wood designs, beautiful chandeliers, etc. It was a huge complex, and they had a very interesting museum about Jewish life, replete with medieval examples of dishes, candelabra, torah scrolls, etc. Most amazing was a Jewish tombstone (with menorah carving) from the 3rd century, when this was Roman territory. Out back was an interesting Holocaust memorial - more than half of Hungary's 700,000 Jews were sent to Nazi deathcamps or simply shot and dumped into the Danube (mostly by collaborating Hungarian fascists) - and a symbolic grave for Raoul Wallenberg. We then walked around in the old Jewish ghetto, seeing a few other large (less ornate) synagogues and stopping for lunch at a popular restaurant serving Ashkenazi-style traditional Jewish food. We had motza-ball/goose-neck and goulash soups for an appetizer. Then we moved onto stuffed cabbages and cholent/stuffed goose sausages with hard-boiled eggs, and finally some warm pastry desserts. Again, super-filling but awesome. To continue the God-fest, we headed to the enormous Svent Istvan Basilika. I've been in a lot of churches, but nothing even comes close to comparing with how beautiful and blinged-out this place was. The interior was filled with gold and marble, beautiful paintings, incredible domed ceilings, etc. Again, to satisfy my weird desire to see ancient bodyparts attributed to religious figures, we checked out St. Stephen's right hand (the "holy right") - sadly I couldn't get a good photo through the glass. We climbed to the top of the main tower and got some pretty amazing views of the city, before moving on. We walked all the way up the Danube, past the intricate Parliament building, and hung out for the rest of the afternoon on Margaret Island (that's right, a river island), very similar to Central Park in NYC. Around sunset, we headed back and had a light dinner and beer at a cafe in St. Stephen's square (where I got this neat picture of the basilica). Before bed, we stopped on the bridge festival again to listen to the live jazz/blues and eat this amazing grilled sweet bread thing (vanilla sugar is so good).

While it had been about 90 degrees the other days, our last day here was pretty gray, rainy, and about 68 degrees at most. This is much better than the 110+ degrees they had here for about 2 straight weeks before we came. We walked past the Opera house and all the way up the major Andrassy Ut boulevard (for no good reason) and had some Chinese food for lunch (too many rich Hungarian lunches). After a quick espresso stop, we had one thing left to do: thermal baths. Budapest is known for their natural hot mineral springs, and there are at least a dozen bath houses in the city. We went to the biggest, cheapest one that allows mixed-sex bathing. After some initial confusion (note to Hungarians: we stupid Americans do not understand the meaning behind curt, repeated, non-descript commands in broken English), we managed to change and get "towels" (curtains?). Despite the cold July weather (Europe is having a cold fucking summer), we went outside first. There were 3 pools: hot (38 C), cold (25 C), and warm (32 C) with fun currents swirling around obstacles. We tried the former and latter....soooooo relaxing. We spent about 3 hours running between thermal baths, mineral baths, and saunas. It felt really good, but there's only so much you can take. If for no other reason, I could come back and spend a week in Budapest just visiting various baths. We took the subway back downtown and the weather cleared a bit. After some more afternoon cake (screw coffee, right?) and light shopping in the pedestrian malls near Vaci Utca we had an amazing dinner (for cheap)! Fried goose liver and onions on toast for an appetizer. I had turkey breast stuffed with apples and soft cheese in a sour cherry sauce with potatoes and a great local red wine...all for like 10 euros. I was convinced it was a scam. I think we were both a little sad to leave...it really was an amazing place and we still had a lot left that we could do. Oh well...definitely a place worth a return trip - highly recommended for a different European perspective (without too much of the depressing stuff about eastern Europe). One last picture of the Parliament....

Bonn, Germany ("home")

2007-07-28T03:43:00.000-10:00

After getting back from Heidelberg (thankfully, we got a nice ride back from a colleague), we pretty much immediately proceeded to move into Jackie's new apartment in Bonn. Her old place was this little tiny (like less than 200 sq ft) efficiency right next to the Old City. So, nice interesting location, but really, really small. Her new place is in the Poppelsdorf neighborhood, about a kilometer away, and is at least twice as big. Everything's brand new, and its a very comfy place (with the exception of her nosy landlord). It turns out that Poppelsdorf is a really popular place to live...and incredibly convenient. There are 2 grocers within 20 m, 4 bakeries in a 1-block radius, a few falafel/kebab stands (and home-cooked Indian food!), a butcher and fishmonger (both of which I'm afraid to enter), and maybe a dozen restaurants that pour onto the streets at night. Oh yeah, and gelato. We took care of business and got all the new things she needed in one afternoon.

A little further down the street is the Poppelsdorfer Schloss (i.e., "castle" maybe = mansion?), this very pleasant-looking bright yellow building. Behind it is a botanical garden, but in front is a long (maybe 3/4 km) open lawn boulevard leading directly to the city center. It seems like a very popular place to hang out on the nicer days. Oddly enough, its now a Mineralogy Museum and houses the university's biology department. The rest of the week entailed 2 separate parties...one located a block from the Haribo factory (gummy bears) and the other for a colleague's birthday that provided a ridiculous amount of good food. I was particularly impressed with the beer quality at these parties. I'm not sure if there's a German "miller lite"...and if there is, I can't tell what it would be. More on this later. We also went to a nearby town - Bad Godesburg - to see the Simpson's movie (in English), which was much funnier than I expected. My favorite Homer quote: "That could be anyone's pig crap silo!"

Heidelberg, Germany

2007-07-22T18:57:00.000-10:00

After arriving early Monday morning in Cologne/Bonn (on what seemed like a surprisingly short flight), we basically jumped right on a 2.5-hour train ride to Heidelberg. The ride was very nice, following the Rhine River with castles and remarkably steep vineyards (mmm...Riesling) on the valley walls (how do they pick grapes on a 70 degree incline?). Heidelberg is your typical adorable German city, in a valley straddling the Neckar River in southeastern Germany (only ~20 miles from the French border). We checked into our hotel, called the Schnookeloch (no one knows what it means, but it was funny to Germans too), which was really an old student bar next to a sex shop (but still really nice), and I fell asleep for 4 hours while Jackie went to her conference.

This is where I must confess that Germany is very nice in the summer...everyone eats/drinks outside, in market squares, beer gardens, or little restaurants that have spilled onto the sidewalks. We joined them, for sausages and potatoes and beer in the open Markt in the heart of the old city. I was disturbed at how late the sun sets here...its not fully dark until like 10:30pm, which is a hell of a lot later than the 7:45pm in Hawaii (at the solstice!). After dark (and gelatos...mmm) we went onto this bridge to look at the castle lit up on the hillside.

Over the next few days (while Jackie was in her conference) I wandered around Heidelberg doing everything the Lonely Planet guide told me to. This included crossing over this dramatic bridge to the north side of the river and climbing up the hillside philosophenweg (Philosopher's Walk?), where Goethe and his compatriots used to hang out. The views (although somewhat obscured) of Heidelberg proper were pretty spectacular...all these little red-roofed buildings packed together. For some reason (hey, its pretty, but I don't get it), Heidelberg has some 3 million tourists each year - so everyone spoke at least a little English and it was easy to get whatever I wanted at restaurants, stores, etc. As far as I can tell, its main claim-to-fame is the oldest still-operating university in the world, founded in 1386.

The following afternoon gave conference participants some free time, so Jackie and I climbed up to the incredible ruined castle on the Heidelberg hillside (which used to house some of the Bavarian royal family). The grounds themselves were really pretty, with spectacular views, and the external crumbling castle walls were cool as well. Inside the castle, in some old cellar, there were these two giant wine barrels, one of which supposedly contained 220,000 L of wine (I find this hard to believe). There was also an interesting pharmacy museum here (I have no idea why). The internal castle facades were pretty spectacular. The empty window panes looked almost like plasma TVs showing the blue sky and clouds through them...it seemed fake. We took the liberty of wandering through the surrounding moats, and climbing up into a crumbling corner tower. In America this stuff would totally be roped off and guarded...not in Germany.

The next few days were spent investigating churches, climbing their bell towers, sightseeing, shopping (for beer mugs), eating meat (generally fried or in sausage form), and drinking beer. One comment on the latter: Heidelberg's Vetter beer house boasts the highest alcohol content beer in the world - 33%!!!! It is served in a 0.2 L glass and costs about 7 euros. I'm sure it tastes great, but that is equivalent to drinking about 5 shots of rum in a sitting. I avoided it and enjoyed their other beers (on 2 occasions). Jackie got this weisebierbowle thing there (it was only on the German-language menu, so you know its good), which was beer with a shot of champagne and a handful of beer-soaked strawberries on the bottom. It was way better than it sounds. I'll post the remaining Heidelberg pics online via google soon (and will edit this then).

a new home

2007-06-29T09:16:00.000-10:00

Of course, it might be a bit presumptuous to start re-writing in here, thinking that people would actually still be reading it (or ever were in the first place). Either way, I'm sure someone will stumble on it again. A lot has happened in the past many months, most significantly: I'm done with graduate school and have moved away from Hawaii. I'm now technically homeless and unemployed until September. I left Hawaii on June 10 and then spent ~2 weeks at my parents' house in Chicago. After that I spent another ~2 weeks in Boston, my newly adopted city for the fall, hanging out with Chris and Kari as well as getting some work done. I also managed to find an apartment to move into when I return from Europe.

Its a pretty unique place as far as Boston goes. A roughly 800+ square foot 2-bedroom (1-bath) on the 3rd floor of a 3-floor building in a little residential area of Allston, MA. Some of the highlights: the last flight of stairs is internal to my apartment (i.e., private flight of stairs), one wall of the entire apartment is exposed brick, nice dark-wood floors, big eat-in kitchen, back deck off kitchen (with stairs down to parking lot - free parking! too bad I don't own a car), etc. Most important: killer location. I'm a 12-second walk from the southern bound of Harvard's campus (the business school/athletic fields) and the major north-south bus line in this area, and a ~5-10 minute walk from the very pretty Charles River (not "Hawaii pretty", but what more could I expect!?). Its a ~12 minute walk to Harvard Square (and the major subway system), and another 10 minutes from there to my office at the CfA. In the other direction, its a < 15 minute walk to Wai Kru, the gym I'm planning to join. Its also a little more than a half-hour walk (~10 minutes on a bike, or a short bus ride/walk) to Chris & Kari's place in Brookline. So, I'm very, very pleased, especially with the price ($1300/month). Here are some pictures from the craigslist ad where I originally scouted it:

Anyway, before I get ahead of myself and start thinking about moving there...I have to move to Europe for 2 months first. So, keep checking for travel updates.

windward kayaking

2007-01-28T17:52:00.000-10:00

Yesterday, Dave and I went on a marathon ocean kayaking session on the windward side of Oahu. We got up early (for me) and headed to Kailua Beach on what has to have been the nicest day so far in 2007. We paddled out of Kailua Bay, down past Lanikai Beach, and all the way into Waimanalo Bay. Above the bay was some crazy single-engine WWII-era prop plane doing amazing acrobatic techniques...I was captivated for a good 15 minutes wondering if I was going to witness some horrible accident. We paddled out and around the Mokuleia Islands (seen below), which was pretty exciting because the ocean was heaving out there (kayaking got a bit harder), and it was a pretty unique viewpoint. All in all, the trip was about 2.5 hours...and now I'm sore in random places (traps, wrists, hamstrings, huh?). By the way, these pictures are not doctored - its just that beautiful. [I did use a polarizer.]

choi 2: the volcano-ing

2006-12-15T10:55:00.000-10:00

Choi was coming back to Hawaii to visit her parents, so we arranged to meet for an adventure on the Big Island. She gets enough tropical/beach time otherwise, so it was a good opportunity to play around on the volcanos and such. One crazy thing I realized during this trip was that Choi and I have known each other for almost 10 years now! 10 years! I'm so old.

Anyway, we started off (after breakfast at Ken's) by driving up to the summit of Mauna Kea for an astronomy tour. Even though it had to be 45 mph sustained winds and we both were well-prepared for the cold in our hoodies, we decided it would be wise to hike out to the "true" summit to check out the views to the northeast. Its amazing how brutal a 30-minute hike can be at 14,000 feet. We checked out all the telescopes and I finally explained what the hell I've been doing here for nearly 6 years (outside of surfing the web in my office - which is probably 60% of my time).

After getting back to Hilo (Choi was not a fan of the winding, downhill Saddle Road - I don't blame her) we had a delicious dinner at Hilo Bay Cafe and then drove our rental to Volcanoes National Park on the south side of the island. We were staying in this little tiny log cabin in the woods (because it was cheap), which turned out to be pretty silly. As it was dark and there was not much to do, Choi promptly fell asleep around 8:30pm. The cabin was comfortable enough, although it got cold during the night (40s), and we never saw it during the day. We left and headed to the Kilauea Caldera before dawn. We drove down to the ocean where the recent lava flows end, but it was rainy and the air quality was poor due to the prevailing winds carrying sulfur fumes and small glass particles from the flows and vents to the east. We hiked out in the lava fields for quite a while without any other tourists around, which was pretty unique in my experience.

The weather cleared up a bit and we hiked out to some ancient Hawaiian petroglyphs. There were lots of rock carvings of little men and circles, the latter of which were used to deposit the umbilical cords of newborns. We took our time driving back up the cliffs were lava flows had spilled over in the past 50 years or so, and checked out the Thurston lava tube back in the rainforest at 4000 feet. For a late lunch we headed back to Hilo and then went up the coast a bit to check out the beautiful Akaka Falls (1000 foot? waterfall). After a hike down to the ocean near the botanical gardens, it was time to head back to the airport. It was a quick trip, but you can pack a hell of a lot in these kinds of 36-hour adventures in Hawaii.

germany: epcot center got it right

2006-12-08T16:46:00.000-10:00

After the conference in Madrid, I flew up to Germany to visit Jackie at her new job in Bonn. Of course, I've been so lazy since then and am writing this way later that I forget most of what happened in detail...but we'll see what we can do.
Bonn is a little city on the Rhine in western Germany (near Belgium and Luxembourg) that has the character of a children's fairy tale village/Epcot Center attraction with some additional junk, like modern fashionista stores, sausage carts (although those were in my childhood fantasy villages), weird salons inside train stations, homeless people that always have dogs, and Turks. It was the birthplace of Beethoven, so we saw his house and museum, which included some pretty cool stuff like notebooks with scratched out music, and those megaphones for his ears when he was going deaf.

We spent most of the visit in Bonn, where I again expressed my remarkable skill for being relaxed and lazy. The food was very tasty (and sausage-y), and the local Kolsch style of beer was excellent - very light, almost fruity finish. You could be six 0.5L bottles in the grocery story for 2 euros ($3; the recycling deposit was more expensive than the beer): now that's my kind of country. Jackie's posted about this before, but I was amazed that you could just get on buses and trains and no one would question whether you had a ticket...it would have been easy to just walk on and never pay for anything. I had never heard or seen enough German to appreciate the similarities with English (they both come from the same mother tongue)...its almost as if Germans are speaking English with too much gum in their mouth.

Anyway, on Thanksgiving we rode the (wrong) train up to Cologne (or Koln) for the day. Cologne was the major northern city of the Roman Empire, making this area of Germany the only remaining predominantly Catholic region. Because of that, there's an absolutely amazing cathedral there that took some 600 years to build, and is one of the few structures that was not destroyed in the Allies' bombings in WWII. The cathedral is so big it was not really possible to get it in one shot, and the weather wasn't the greatest. Inside the cathedral they have some important Christian relics in these gold sarcophaguses: the remains of the Three Wise Men. Exactly...I bet you didn't know they were in Germany! While there we also visited the Chocolate Museum (wonderful) and hung out in a Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas Market) and ate delicious stuff like potato pancakes and listened to a quartet of those Ricola horns.

Anyway, this is a pretty scatter-brained picture of a nice vacation in Bonn. Afterwards I flew back to Madrid for a day in the museums and then on to Chicago, and finally back to Honolulu. I'm sure I'll be able to paint a better picture when I go back over the summer for better adventures (i.e., beer gardens).

i was in spain and it wasn't very exciting...

2006-12-03T21:03:00.000-10:00

A few weeks ago I flew from Honolulu to Madrid (with some stops) for a conference. To summarize, the conference and Madrid were both kinda lame. But anyway, I figured I should post something about it. The trip began well, thanks to my following Jonathan's expert advice on how to properly drug yourself for long flights. I flew Iberia Airlines from Chicago (which incidentally I will never do again), and popped the suggested 1 Tylenol PM with some red wine right after dinner. I was figuring it would take ~30 minutes to kick in, but I swear to you that one pill is equivalent to getting shot in the neck with a tranquilizer dart that would put down an elephant. Literally within 3 minutes I passed out in a full upright position for 6+ hours! My back/neck never hurt so much in my life.

Anyway, I spent most of the week doing conference-y things. That basically means drinking about 10 coffees a day, listening to dull lectures by nervous weird people (myself included), eating bland uninspired food and 3 glasses of red wine for 2 hour lunch breaks, and wandering around aimlessly looking for a place to eat dinner that can seat the 11 tag-a-long losers that are following me and the cool people around. But, I did have some time to do all the tourist things as well. In fact, I'm convinced that if you're well-organized you can see everything there is to see in Madrid in 1 day.

Madrid has really nice art museums, particularly the Prado (older stuff) and the Museo de Reina Sofia (modern, 20th century). I have to admit I enjoyed the latter much more because it was filled with some pretty incredible Picasso and Dali paintings. Salvador Dali was a fucking genius...his paintings are the artistic equivalent of the Twin Peaks TV series (google him if you've never heard of him: try and find a photo of him - he had this crazy moustache that will blow your mind). The top floor in that museum was modern "art"...there was some Spanish guy who was featured that had one of those hilarious paintings that was a black streak on white with a single blue dot and a single red dot. You know, something that literally could have been accomplished by a retarded ostrich but some douchebag considers "high art".

There's also a very elegant looking royal palace and a beautiful cathedral right next to it, as well as a group of nice parks and fountains. But, seriously, how long can you spend looking at concrete fountains? Anyway, in the end I think Madrid was not a bad week...I did have a lot of fun socially at a bunch of the conference-related stuff and several good nights on the town. My main complaints were that nothing really struck me as "incredible", and particularly the food was a big disappointment. The paella was bland, oily, and filled with little chicken bones (mmm...choking hazards), broken mussel shells, and shrimp antennae. The bread was always very dry. There was an excessive (holy crap excessive) amount of ham, which was exciting for the first 24 hours but then got kinda ridiculous. Most places (including bars) had an entire cured pig leg/ass on the counter (hoof included) to saw off fatty, salty chunks for your supposed enjoyment. Madrid would not be a fun place to be a vegetarian (or try to eat Kosher). The best food part was the abundant, cheap, spicy/smoky rioja wines, which were (literally) cheaper by the bottle than the water.

In the end, Madrid seemed like a slightly more ornate US city with extra Spanish-speakers, more ham, and less water. I'll give the rest of Spain another chance, though. Madrid is a relatively young European city, and lacks the interesting history that the rest of Spain is ripe with. So I think next time I'll head to Barcelona and some other coastal cities to see the more Meditteranean style.

stressed out? try puppies...

2006-11-05T21:03:00.000-10:00

As I slowly descend into a bout of deep depression, paranoia, pessimism, and (hopefully not) uncontrollable urges to beat people on account of all the job-market-related stress I'm under, I decided I needed to not work for more than 24 hours. I got up and went to the gym as usual (and while working out fantasized about choking out the douchebag "man" who wears a fully matching outfit - including shoes - and hair gel...and cologne!) and had a quick lunch. That did nothing to relieve stress. I had to pull out the big guns. And that means....
puppy swap meetBelieve it or not, such a thing exists at the Petland in Kahala every Sunday afternoon. You basically have free reign to play with the puppies (except for the little teacup ones)...all you gotta do is wash your hands first. It amazed me how much dogs cost: there were some fugly chihuahua puppies for $1300 each!!! The husky/malamut is only $650. That dog better be awesome for $650 (and I don't doubt it is). My favorite was this little teacup dog that literally was so tired it passed out from a standing position face down in its water dish. The breeder had to rescue it from drowning. Hilarious. If defusing tension with a bunch of puppies doesn't make you feel better, than you're pure evil and deserve to die (there I said it). Unfortunately, the effect can wear off pretty quickly once you leave them. Clearly, I need a dog (after I get a job, that is).

careful...there's needles in your back

2006-10-30T21:03:00.000-10:00

so, due to the ridiculous amount of crap i've had to finish lately related to the job search, etc., i hadn't been to the gym in almost 3 weeks. given that i'm going to be out of town again in a week, i decided to go right back to the same level i was at before...when i was in the gym 4x a week and kickboxing 2x a week. needless to say, every muscle in my body was in intense pain, primarily my lower back (i wonder how many more years i'm going to be able to do this?).

anyway, thankfully liz has recently learned how to poke people with needles and make everything all better. i don't really have too much more to say, except that its weird to push needles into your skin to make muscle pain go away...but it totally worked! call me a jackass for being surprised, but i didn't think it would work as quickly/well as it did (props to liz for learning so quickly).

i appreciate muscle relaxants that don't involve stretching or pills. that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

about that earthquake...

2006-10-17T07:21:00.000-10:00

I've been asked by tons of people about this earthquake in Hawaii the other day, and rather than telling everyone repeatedly what I thought about it, I'll just write it here. On Sunday I got up at 4:30am (sigh) to catch a 7:30am flight to Los Angeles. I was sitting in the waiting lounge as the last group boarding my flight...noticing how windy and rainy it was outside. Suddenly there was a low rumbling and then a huge, sustained jolt for 10-15 seconds that severely rattled all the glass walls in the building. The light fixtures shook violently and several people later claimed there was a lot of broken glass outside further down in the terminal. I did not appreciate it was an earthquake immediately. My first thought as the rumbling started was that the wind from the storm outside had picked up to gale forces, and I thought "fuck...I don't want to fly in this." But the large jolt was so intense that I was briefly convinced that a plane had crashed into the terminal due to the bad weather. Seriously!

Anyway, when it stopped shaking I overheard the ticket counter rep say "What was that? Was that an earthquake?" And then I thought...oh, and earthquake! That makes more sense...ok, lets get on the fucking plane already! :) About 15 minutes later everyone was on board, but we couldn't pull away from the gate because the power was down (which was weird, because for 15 minutes after the quake, the power was fine (they digitally scanned my ticket and everything). I heard on the seat radio that planes were taking off and landing, but we were stuck because they couldn't pull back the jetway (how retarded!). After 90 minutes, the pilot decided to just floor it in reverse and hope for the best (not kidding). And so, around 9am we took off for LAX, apparently one of the last flights out of the Honolulu airport.

When I got to the baggage claim at LAX there were about half a dozen camera crews for various news stations. Some guy interviewed me for the LA news (saw it that night!) and was asking me all about it...I didn't have a lot to say, he probably knew more than I did, since I was on a plane for the last 7 hours. Apparently the quake was upgraded to a 6.7 today...but I'm not sure if I felt the Kona quake or an aftershock that was ~5.8 located offshore of Oahu (24 miles). Either way it made for an interesting morning.

I wish I had more to say, but like I mentioned I got up at 4:30am and was kind of a zombie until this morning, really. As far as I know, everything in Oahu is pretty much fine at this point.

new favorite word

2006-10-10T10:16:00.000-10:00

brainchild

I saw this in a BBC article about Pan-STARRS, saying that the telescope project was the "brainchild" of Nick Kaiser (which is true). Have you ever really thought about that term before? Seriously, think about it. Its funny.

all glory be to me

2006-10-08T17:23:00.000-10:00

Ok, so what if I haven't written in here for 2 months. Fuck you too. But seriously...I'm crazy busy applying for jobs! I can't believe how ridiculous this whole process is: I basically spend all my time trying to figure out clever ways to convince people how awesome I am without directly saying so. A literal translation of a job application in this field is:

"I am so awesome. Way better than these other fools. One of the many reasons I'm so awesome is..."

"In light of my awesomeness, you should pay me a big lump of cash each year to basically do the same thing I do every day (i.e., increase the level of my awesomeness)."

"Seriously, this research plan is kick-ass, even though the results will be impossible to interpret, the data will be extremely difficult to obtain and calibrate, and I just might get so sick of working on this stuff that I'll quit and make twice as much in some bank."

Ok, that last one wasn't immodest enough. But anyway, I hate doing this. Its such a bizarre experiment into the neurotic paranoia that is academia...am I good at this?...will people know that this is all bullshit?...does anyone care? (NO!). Its hard to not take this process seriously, mostly because I've already put so much effort into getting to this point. But the prospect of doing this repeatedly in the near-term and being subject to the cruel job market makes me want to buy a ranch in Montana and start a farm that sells cheeses or puppies (possibly after beating the shit out of several people just for fun).

i finally did it!

2006-08-07T23:05:00.000-10:00

The Israel/Jordan blogging is finished, thanks to a long observing run! The entire trip can be seen in the May archive, and additional pictures can be seen by clicking on the pictures from the Personal part of my IfA webpage. Enjoy!

grumpy

2006-08-05T21:12:00.000-10:00

you know you've been at altitude too long when some guy across the room being excited to be an astronomer at Mauna Kea makes you so mad you can hardly eat your dinner. as you stare into the dry chicken breast, wet defrosted spinach, and non-real mashed potatoes all you can think is "fucking douchebag."

WWSD Broad Policy Initiatives

2006-07-31T22:05:00.000-10:00

Contained below is a schematic of how my administration will work, and the basic policies we will introduce and focus on. First things first...changes to the current government setup:

1) Congress will be disbanded. New elections will be held for every position. Certain douchebags will be barred from office as I see fit (e.g., Bill Frist). Campaigns will be limited to no-bullshit debates. No advertisements of any kind are allowed.

2) Rogue governers will be deported. Their replacements will be appointed (by me).

3) The Supreme Court will be disbanded. Justices will from now on be elected by a straight-up popular vote, based on the aforementioned debates. I reserve the right to veto people based on their qualifications.

4) A crack team of super-cabinet members will be selected to advise my rule. George Bush can stick around so we can ridicule all his past mistakes to his face.

5) Jesus will have no part in government ever again, unless he returns as the Messiah and is properly elected via the no-bullshit debates.

Ok, once those things are taken care of, I can lay out the basic tenets of the new USA:

I. Mandatory Empathy. It might sound tyrannical, but I ensure you it is not. The forthcoming details will shock you.
II. No-Bullshit Foreign Policy. Believe it or not, we suck at this now. So, I have a few ideas that will allow this country to maintain our status, but not be such dicks. The main component in the "war on terror" will be calling people out on their bullshit...you'll see what I mean later.
III. Manhatten Project: The Sequel. We need free fucking energy, and we need it bad. This may involve state-sanctioned domestic terrorism, pneumatic tubes, and/or teleportation.
IV. Free Health Care. Unless you abuse it by getting too fat (3 fat strikes and you're out policy).
V. Robin Hood Principle. That's right. Rich people are screwed (except for me).

Details on each of these broad initiatives is forthcoming. Rest assured, I will solve all our problems that are worth complaining about. You'll learn to admire my no-bullshit-ness.

a new direction: WWSD

2006-07-31T18:54:00.000-10:00

I've decided to move this sucker in a new direction and go off on long tirades about what I would do if I were the supreme dictator of these United States. Partly because I think it'll be funnier, but also because I'm sure I would be better at this than our current government. I'll try not to go tyrannical, although I think its safe to say that some people have to be "offed" (or at least tortured). I will offer amnesty for now, but a few people are on a "1 strike and you're out" policy (Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, Lou Dobbs, the women of The View, Rita Crosby, Sean Penn, Pat Robertson, Mel Gibson, and Karl Rove, to name a few). So, keep an eye out and offer feedback if you like (dissent will not be tolerated, however).

pat robertson at it again...

2006-06-07T16:14:00.000-10:00

pat robertson continues to claim he genuinely leg-pressed 2000 pounds. sorry...it's just too hilarious to ignore.

back in the USA

2006-06-02T06:20:00.000-10:00

i'm back (in chicago) and will complete the final leg of the journey monday. in the end, i'll have been away for 48 days and traveled well over 20,000 miles in the air. the trip was great, all parts of it. i will be slowly filling in the details in entries before this one...so keep checking back until the entire trip is filled in (may 8 - may 31).

day 23: our final day

2006-05-30T19:45:00.000-10:00

Sigh...well, today's our last day in Israel. We got up and stuck our bags in a storeroom at the hotel after checking out. We had a lot of time to waste, and frankly we're kinda exhausted after this long, busy trip. Anyway, we decided to check out the Carmal Market in Tel Aviv, a bustling crazy place selling everything from bras to fish. After that we walked along the sea-front to the nearby port city of Jaffa. It was about a 45-minute walk, and we wandered around the old city's artist quarter until we decided to stop for a nice lunch overlooking one of the oldest ports in the world (dated back 4000+ years!). After some more wandering around this charming city, we headed back up to Tel Aviv and then into the city to a little cafe for some coffee. Eventually we made it back to the beach and had some beers and watermelon at a little outdoor bar. In the early evening we gathered our bags and caught a taxi to the airport.

Joe and I went through the very strict El Al security process, including a complete unpacking/unfolding of all our bags (and then frantic re-packing) and a brief interview. While waiting for our flights we all had sandwiches and a few beers and did some last-minute souvenir shopping with our leftover Israeli money. Finally it was time to board the 14 hour flight to Newark (damn it!)...bye Israel! ;)

day 22: Tel Aviv is intentionally confusing (fuckers)

2006-05-29T19:43:00.000-10:00

Today we got up, packed up the rental car, and headed back across the southern Galil towards Tel Aviv, on the Mediterranean coast. We stopped only once for lunch in Hadera and rolled into the biggest city in Israel around 2:30pm. Immediately we realized that Tel Aviv is not a cool place to drive in...its super-congested and, despite being the only city in Israel on a rectangular grid, it is difficult to drive in. This is because, despite many streets being 2-way, you can only turn onto them in one direction...which is fucking ridiculous. Anyway, we eventually found our way to the Bell Hotel right on the beach and checked in after parking in a very precarious position in a nearby garage. After relaxing for about an hour, Joe and I decided to drop off the rental car at a nearby Hertz, after filling up with gas. This driving adventure took us about 90 minutes, and then took us 15 minutes to walk back to the hotel (does that clue you into how ridiculous this place is?). Anyway, after that mess Danielle joined us on the beach for some swimming, reading, and beers. Afterwards we hit up an Ethiopian place for dinner...there are a lot of Jewish Ethiopian immigrants in Israel, in case you weren't aware. During the Roman period many extremely religious Jews fled Jerusalem (mostly out of anger at a pagan idol erected in the Jewish Temple) and established an enormous community and temple complex in the middle of Egypt on the Nile. Eventually that community moved over to Ethiopia and many locals there converted. Some scholars actually think that a Church in Ethiopia contains the Ark of the Covenant which was smuggled out of the Jerusalem temple along with these angry Jews. Anyway, Ethiopian food is ridiculously good...just thought I'd throw that out there. Afterwards we smoked hookahs on at a chilly beach bar.

day 21: "beach" day at Jesus Lake

2006-05-28T19:41:00.000-10:00

The original plan for today was to drive up north to the Lebanese border town of Kiryat Shmona and go on a kayaking adventure down the Jordan river. We opted out of this plan, though, and thank goodness for it. The Hizbullah militant group in Lebanon decided to start attacking northern Israel with rockets that morning (in a foreshadowing of the craziness that's going on now). So, instead we drove to the East bank of the Sea of Galilee and spent the day relaxing on the completely empty Dugit Beach (its really more like a gravel mixture than sand, though). Of course, this is the body of water that Jesus supposedly walked on, but its really not nearly as nice as it looks in my pictures (thanks to a polarizer). Anyway, we just had a nice long, hot day of relaxing and swimming...it was really nice considering how busy this trip has been all the way through. We had some Italian food for dinner (and more gelato) and then drank some whiskey while packing up for the last "movement" of the trip in the morning.

day 20: hello, syria & honeymoon crashers

2006-05-27T19:38:00.000-10:00

We got up this morning and took a drive up through the beautiful Hula Valley to the north, and eventually wound our way up into the northeast corner of Israel, the Golan Heights. This area was captured from the Syrians in the 1967 and 1973 wars, and the picturesque fields of grain and vineyards are, unfortunately, covered in land mines. Signs explaining this along these roads are only one indication of the apparently peaceful place's past...there are also a lot of bombed-out Syrian bunkers and Druze villages all over the place. The Golan is a volcanic zone, and there are nice little craters everywhere...it kinda reminds me of Mauna Kea, actually. We made it to this excellent viewpoint called Har Bental, a distinct peak about 1000 yards from the Syrian border, where you can catch a glimpse along the road to Damascus. There were nice views of Mt. Hermon, the distant mountain with snow still on it (even in the Middle East's summer) and surrounding farmland. You can wander around in old Israeli army bunkers up there (as Danielle demonstrates by descending a dark tunnel), but the real purpose is to see the dramatic natural beauty here. Nevertheless, its hard to forget that this is a place of conflict, as the barbed wire hiding in the red poppies reminds you. We had lunch up there at a place called "Coffee AnAn", which we found hard to believe was not a pun on the UN leader's name.

After a quick stop in Tiberias we headed back to the Mediterranean village of Limat to pay a visit to Adam and Moriya on their honeymoon (they insisted!). We took a dip in the hot tub and then relaxed with a nice spread of cheeses, olives, fruit and other snacks and some Cuban cigars that Adam's uncle bought for us in Jerusalem. After the sunset, Moriya performed the prayers for the end of Shabbat, and then we all walked to a nearby up-scale steakhouse for a nice dinner (part of a gift from Moriya's cousins - it was very tasty). Eventually Joe, Danielle, and I headed back to Tiberias for another night in the Galil.

day 19: holy shit its hot

2006-05-26T19:37:00.000-10:00

We woke up late this morning to a knock on our hostel door (Danielle, Joe, me, and another friend of Adam's who had recently immigrated and joined the IDF)...it was check-out time! All panicked that we were going to get charged an extra night, I ran down to pay the bill. I laughed out loud when I realized it was 89 shekels (about 20 USD) between the four of us...funny. Anyway, this was where Joe, Danielle, and I parted ways with Sam, Anne, Dave, and Lior - they were headed to Tel Aviv for the day and then flying home. I dropped the soldier guy (Dave?) off at the train station in Akko and Joe, Danielle and I started to head for the Sea of Galilee. But, we got a phone call from Shoshie (Moriya's friend) asking if she could come along. So, we picked her up in Nahariya and then finally headed across the hilly and green Galil region (north central Israel) and into the city of Tiberias on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. We stopped and checked into a hostel there and the four of us had lunch at a cafe on the main market street in this little city. After that we drove a little ways to meet up with some other midrasha girls that Shoshie and Moriya go to school with (including Shani, who we hung out with earlier). They were jumping off the banks of the Jordan river (or some branch of it) and swimming to cool off...it was scorching hot, 106 degrees F. At the end of the day the girls all left to a nearby kibbutz for Shabbat, and Joe, Danielle, and I went to the hostel to shower and relax while watching Arab satellite TV (from Kuwait).

I should point out how hilarious the shower was in this place. The bathroom was about 3'x3' with a toilet and sink. The showerhead just stuck out of the ceiling...no curtain, no nothing. You showered and soaked the shit out of everything. The two people in the bedroom always got a chuckle out of the giggling of the person in the shower over how silly it was. Anyway, when the sun set and it cooled off we found a Christian-run restaurant on the waterfront that served delicioius local fish. We capped the night off with gelato (mm...pistachio gelato is sooooo good) and then crashed, having barely slept the night before.

day 18: the wedding!

2006-05-25T19:36:00.000-10:00

Well, we finally hit the day behind all of us flying halfway around the world...the wedding! Adam and I got new rental cars today (sadly we had to turn in the purple minivan). Joe and I took one car and Adam and Dave took another (Sam, Anne, and Lior had left earlier) and we headed up to the "end of the world", Rosh Ha'Nikra, at the northern Israel/Lebanon border. We stopped for lunch somewhere north of Tel Aviv (near Akko?) and eventually made it to the little village of Limat, at the cottage where Adam and Moriya were going to spend the first weekend of their marriage together (cute little place on a small farm). We all got ready and had a little arak to calm our nerves (or, maybe Adam did...Dave, Joe, and I just wanted a drink). Around 5pm we headed up the last 15 minutes to Rosh Ha'Nikra, right on the Mediterranean coast. The view down the coastline was stunning, and we admired it while waiting for a few relatives to join up. To get to the actual wedding, however, you had to take this cable car over the side of these white chalk cliffs to a large natural patio right on the water's edge. The area is filled with sea caves with amazingly clear water where you could see 20-30 feet to the sea floor. The location and the setup were really wonderful.

After eating some snacks and mint lemonade, the guests had all arrived and the sun started to get low, so it was time to begin the ceremony. Moriya had been sequestered in a nearby cave with all her girlfriends singing songs to her and praying. Adam and the two dads walked out first to the chuppah (the canopy where the ceremony takes place) and waited (patiently). Eventually Moriya and the moms came out surrounded by a throng of loudly singing girls...it was all very dramatic. The ceremony itself was beautiful and lively, and finished right after sunset. Aww...what a happy couple ;)

Anyway, the food was really, really, really good and the dancing and entertainment were also a lot of fun. It was certainly the most unique and beautiful wedding I'd ever been to (sorry everyone else, but come on...you have a wedding on the Mediterranean and we'll talk). Around 2am we packed up into the cars (I mean really packed up) and drove about 10 miles east to a hostel in a little village called Shlomi for the night (mmm...bunkbeds). What a great day.

day 17: last day in Jerusalem

2006-05-24T19:34:00.000-10:00

This morning we woke up and headed back from Arad to Jerusalem to pack up the apartment in Ramat Eshkol. We took the long way back (around the West Bank) and stopped in bumblefuck (again) to get the Israeli version of a breakfast sandwich. Called a "popeye" (don't ask why), this delicious concoction is basically scrambled eggs and vegetables with plenty of z'chug (that green hot sauce I make) stuffed into a pita. We came up through the Latrun corrider in the hills around Jerusalem, where a lot of important battles occurred in the 1948 and 1967 wars. Lior decided we should stop at this tank museum...that's right, a tank museum...that contained every kind of tank Israel's ever used or fought against (captured tanks from Arab armies). I was amused by the bright pink (hello kitty pink) tanks from Lebanon: what the fuck is that about?

Anyway, in the late afternoon I went to the Muslim quarter of the Old City with Lior and Dave for some souvenir shopping and another quick visit to the kotel. I had some delicious spinach/potato/mushroom burekas for dinner and eventually I drove Adam back into the Old City to relax before his big night. We spent some time up on the roofs of the Old City and watched some crazy green laser show practicing for tomorrow night, which is Yom Yerushalayim (or Jerusalem Day), the holiday celebrating the re-capture of the Old City of Jerusalem by the Israelis in the 1967 war. When I got back to the apartment (Adam slept at his dad's place) I finished packing and went to bed early.

day 16: masada and mud

2006-05-23T19:20:00.000-10:00

Danielle took the train and bus to meet us in Arad this morning, all the way from Moriya's house in Haifa. We drove back through the desert and down to En Bokek to pick up Sam and Anne before heading about halfway back to Ein Gedi to one of my favorite places in the south of Israel, Masada. Masada is a ~2000 year old secret Jewish fortress built on top of this high plateau next to the Dead Sea. It was constructed for King Herod and was home to about 1000 Jewish fighters and their families during the Bar Kochba revolt against the Romans around 70 CE. These fighters used to sneak off the plateau and attack Roman positions, and then sneak back up...the Romans had no idea where they were coming from for quite a while. Eventually they figured it out and set up a protracted siege of the fortress. The warriors on Masada were a kind of fanatical Messianic Jewish cult; thinking they were the last free Jews on Earth (figuring the Romans had wiped everyone else out during the revolt) they committed mass suicide rather than be taken prisoner/killed by the pagan Romans. That's some ~1000 people...crazy. Anyway, we took a cable car up to the top of the plateau and wandered around the fortress ruins for about 90 minutes. The place is remarkably intact, including massive food storehouses, a synagogue (complete with a mosaic tile floor), water cisterns, family homes, a hide tanning "shop", remnant fortress walls, and much more. The views of the Dead Sea, the Moab range in Jordan, and the Judean desert cliffs to the west are spectacular. Danielle and I decided to hike down the side of the plateau rather than wait for the herd of people we were with get their shit together. It was really hot and pretty exhausting, though. But, we were rewarded at the bottom when we came across a group of ibex, kind of like a desert deer/antelope kinda thing, including a baby. After watching them for a while (its amazing how well they blend in with their surroundings), we headed to the visitor center for a well-deserved ice-cold watermelon juice drink (mmm....just blended up watermelon: that's it!).

So, in the late afternoon we went back to the mall at En Bokek to purchase some Dead Sea mud (rather than wandering along the shore for an hour until we found a hole) and got all slathered up. The stuff reaks and feels really weird (especially as it dries), but ends up making your skin feel wonderful for a few days. After that we took a dip in the sea to wash it off, where Danielle and I discovered that the sea floor was covered with these spherical salt aggregates about the size of golf balls...it was really bizarre. We had a quick dinner and then drove back up to Arad to hang out at "the point" and then Arad's other local bar before calling it a night.

day 15: bachelor party (complete with assault rifle)

2006-05-22T13:14:00.000-10:00

Adam swung by in the minivan this morning, and we (Adam, Dave, Lior, Sam, Anne, Joe, and I) loaded it and Lior's rental car up for a several day trip back into the Negev and Judean deserts before the wedding. We made the decision to drive the short way down to the Dead Sea...and by short way I mean the West Bank. But we had walkie-talkies in case we got lost, so it was all good. So, we made the descent from Jerusalem down to 1000+ feet below sea level near Jericho and then made a hard right to the Dead Sea. The drive was at least 50% shorter than the alternative route (around the West Bank), and was much more beautiful. We drove along the sea for about 45 minutes, passing date palm orchards (one had this huge fucking ostrich running around in it...I thought I might've been hallucinating), and stark desert cliffs around the location where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found. We stopped near the Ein Gedi kibbutz for a cafeteria-style lunch right on the sea, and then opted to go for a hike in the Wadi David up in the cliffs. Adam and I had done this in February 2005, and its really a stunning place...in this horrifically hot, dry desert, these cliffs are just filled with water everywhere. In fact, Ein Gedi is home to a major natural water supply that is bottled and very popular throughout Israel. Anyway, we climbed around in the waterfalls and pools here for quite a while. There are these weird animals in this area called hyraxes, and we found a baby one flopping around in the dirt for some reason. They're kinda like giant guinea pigs.

Afterwards we went down to the Dead Sea beach and swam, er floated, for a while. As it was last time, this is a very surreal experience...the water feels like cooking oil, and you can literally float standing upright. You have to be careful not to get the water in your eyes, although I have made me mistake of getting a drop in my mouth...it is fiercely salty and kinda chemical tasting: it reminds me of the salt licorice Chris and Kari brought back from Norway (but not as good). Anyway, after a while in there we stopped for ice cream, where I had a wonderful watermelon flavored popsicle that actually tasted like real watermelon (and not the bullshit fake jolly rancher flavor). We headed up into Ein Gedi to Adam's Uncle Kobe's "house" - really a self-styled Israeli hippy shack. Kobe's probably my favorite Suberi, despite his older, more adorable relatives. He just spends his time thinking, doing little odd jobs, smoking hash, and eating dates. And, it seems like everyone in Israel knows the dark little Yemenite dude in Ein Gedi. After some Turkish coffee and watermelon we dropped Sam and Anne off in one of the resort villages called En Bokek and the rest of us drove to the southern side of the Dead Sea and then up back to sea level and into the little Negev Desert town called Arad.

Arad is where Adam lived for a year in Israel, and also where he met Moriya. And, consequently, where we planned to drink it up for his bachelor party. We first stopped at this great outdoor souk (market) before grabbing the best falafel in Israel in the center of Arad. Then we caught the beautiful desert sunset from "the point"...a cliff edge on the outskirts of town that peers down onto the Dead Sea and into the Moabite range in Jordan (where I was less than a week ago). Adam's contemplating his upcoming marriage (actually he might've been on the phone...but whatever). This place was awesome...but the best part was that if you chucked rocks at other rocks they sparked. We did that for a little while...it was a very man-ish (or boy-ish) moment. After checking into the immigrant absorption center where we were staying (and where Adam used to live) and a quick shower, we walked over to this guy's apartment to pre-party. This guy's an American immigrant who joined the Israeli army. We're sitting around drinking at this place and talking...the TV's kinda on in the background, but then we notice that the show we're watching is showing really horrific graphic pictures of sheep and horses being hacked apart and mutilated. We were all terrified and turned the channel (in retrospect is was so surreal it was funny). We also noticed that this guy's M16 was just leaning against the wall...at some point someone said "We better play with that sucker now before we're too drunk." Always a good idea.

Anyway, we finished off the night at one of Arad's 2 (or 3) local bars, drinking, playing pool, eating, and just relaxing. It was a good night, and nice chill way to finish a pretty long day. That's Joe, Lior, Adam, Dave, and me...

day 14: holy sites part deux

2006-05-21T12:41:00.000-10:00

This morning we were joined at the Ramat Eshkol apartment by Lior, a friend of Adam's who also came for the wedding (although he's half Israeli, so has been in Tel Aviv for a few days now). Adam and Moriya had wedding stuff to deal with today, so Lior, Joe, Sam, Anne, and I decided to do the whole Old City of Jerusalem thing (attempt number 2 for Joe and I on this trip: see day 2). We literally basically did the same whirlwind tour, but spent a bit more time on the Temple Mount. When we got up there this Muslim guy offered to give us a detailed tour...I'm always wary about such things, especially when they don't give you a price up front, but they all wanted it, so I figured what the hell. He was very informative and pointed out a bunch of stuff I didn't notice the first time I was up there. He also decided it was ok if we peaked into the Al Aqsa mosque through an open window, although he didn't want me to take any pictures. The inside is cavernous, no walls but a lot of beautiful columns and arches...the floor is covered in Persian-style carpets, and there's a lot of stained glass windows (though without the iconography you see in Christian churces). I spent a lot more time admiring the art of the Dome of the Rock, as you can see in these pictures...its one of those neat things that the longer you stare at it, the more crazy patterns and themes you can see. Anyway, after about 45 minutes we had to leave for Muslim prayer to start...the tour guy demanded 600 shekels...140 USD. We gave him $20 and he seemed to realize that was all he was going to get...so then he was nice again and escorted us out.

Afterwards we went to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher again, which was significantly more crowded than any other time I've been in it. This was kinda dull to see again, but I did discover that with a flash you can really see the artwork in there a million times better than just with your eyes. Why the holiest place in Christianity has to be so ridiculously dark and filthy is completely beyond me, but whatever. We also made it back to the Western Wall again, where I took a lot more pictures because it was late afternoon and everything looks nicer in Jerusalem when the sun starts to set. Here's some shots of people praying (I love how that dude's sidecurl is blowing in the wind).

In the late afternoon we met up again with Adam and another one of his friends, Dave, who had just arrived. We then drove to the Emek Refaim neighborhood of Jerusalem (where I stayed most of the first time I was in Israel) and joined Adam's dad (Sol), his uncle (Bobby), his sister (Danielle), and his Aunt Esther and Uncle Yehuda for a huge feast dinner at a nice kebab place (which was super tasty, and we ate so many different things I don't even want to list them). At this point I was firm in my decision to make a push to kick the cold I'd had since we got to Eilat (a week now), so I went home and crashed while everyone else went out for a couple drinks. This was a mistake...being the only sober person at 3am really sucks when you're trying to sleep and everyone else is focused on being a jackass (but, I'm over it...).

day 13: a slightly more active Shabbat

2006-05-20T21:41:00.000-10:00

This morning we got up and finished doing laundry and then decided to pay a visit to Adam's great aunt and uncle (in their 80s), Rachel and Moshe. We drove the purple minivan south through the West Bank and back into Israel proper to a little moshav (or farming village) called Matte. Moshe answered the door, and it was good to see him doing better as he had been extremely ill recently. Rachel was asleep so we sat and had tea, home-baked bread, and a spice mix called hilbe, and listened to Moshe explain how he was feeling (unfortunately weak) and his regret at not being able to travel to the end of the Earth (Rosh Hanikra) for Adam's wedding. Eventually, Moshe decided to wake up Rachel, who is really frail and pretty much blind, but adorable and very funny. I found it very cute that these frail little brown Yemenite octogenarians call each other ima and abba, or mom and dad. We talked to them for a while and ate some watermelon before heading back to Ramat Eshkol for a light lunch.

Afterwards we drove west to Tel Aviv and Adam's cousin Yigal's apartment, where we relaxed on the roof with Turkish coffee and some pastries (people never stop feeding you, especially the Yemenites in Adam's family). We drove down to the beach on the Meditteranean and walked around for a while before Yigal had to do some work. Joe, Adam, and I then drove to the airport to pick up Adam's friend Sam and his wife Anne. The five of us headed back to Ramat Eshkol (this time via a smarter route), had some more coffee, and then took a taxi into the Ben Yehuda area. As Shabbat officially ended, all the shops started popping open and we had some delicious (and cheap! 6 shekels = $1.50) falafel sandwiches before heading to our favorite hookah bar. Of course, we drank like Americans and then headed back so Adam could meet Moriya. They had to meet with the Rabbi tomorrow and so decided to just spend the night.

day 12: back to Jerusalem

2006-05-19T18:28:00.000-10:00

It being less than 1 week before Adam and Moriya's wedding, a bunch of people are going to start arriving in the coming days. Moreover, Jewish tradition prohibits them from seeing each other from now until the actual ceremony (although they're going to cheat...you'll see). So Joe, Adam, and I catch a bus around lunchtime from Haifa back to Jerusalem. We then stopped and got a purple minivan rental and, after a wild adventure through the ridiculously confusing streets of Jerusalem found the (really nice) apartment Adam's dad will be staying in when he arrives. After that we met up with Adam's mom and aunt and uncle in the Rehavia district of Jerusalem and had coffee for a while. Because it's shabbat, most everything in Jerusalem is shut down in the late afternoon, so the group of us drove outside the city a little ways to a village called En Kerem for dinner at a Lebanese restaurant.

On the way home we made a poor route decision and ended up driving through a very religious neighborhood. Several pious Jews yelled "Shabbos" at our poor purple minivan (no driving on Shabbat), but thankfully we were not stoned (as sometimes happens). We spent the night doing laundry, relaxing, and having a few drinks in the apartment in Ramat Eshkol.

day 11: south to north

2006-05-18T00:14:00.001-10:00

Yesterday afternoon we drove back up into the mountains from Petra to the northwest, and eventually descended back into the low flat plains near the southern end of the Dead Sea. We stopped at a little tiny roadside store to buy water and a few other last minute supplies and then drove off-road through a rocky area near a Bedouin village. Suddenly we're driving through a rapidly flowing (although shallow) river. We drive up the riverbed to the east into a narrow wadi about 1-2 miles and finally park on a small flat area next to the river. We're camping here next to this beautiful crystal-clear river tonight. We set up a nice little camp and start preparing dinner...Adam's "grilling" meat and the rest of us are prepping salads, tuna, pita/hummous, olives, french fries (that's right), etc. Its dark by the time the food's ready, and we've only got a small fire and some weak lanterns. But, Joe and I are kinda confused by the "chicken" we're eating. Adam comments that it's kinda red and much tougher than chicken normally is (and fattier). After eating for like 15 minutes Pinni informs us that we've only cooked the lamb, and not the chicken. It was funny, but you had to be there.

Anyway, there were two tents but only one set of poles (oops). So, Joe and I let Adam and Moriya have the tent and we opt to sleep in our sleeping bags in the open air. Right before we're going to bed, I saw one of those giant spiders move quickly by. That made me very unhappy, but the Israeli Nyquil took care of things, and before I knew it I was asleep. I woke up once around midnight and the sky above between the wadi walls was pretty incredible...nothing like dry desert middle-of-nowhere air to bring out the stars. What was really incredible was waking up around 2:30am thinking it was daybreak...the moon had cleared the wadi walls and was remarkably bright...I could've read, fuck I even noticed the colors of the rock walls. Joe apparently woke up once to the same thoughts. In the morning we broke down the campsite and bathed in the very cool river before taking off.

We continued a drive up into the Moabite mountain range and stopped in Jordan's second largest city, Kerak for some snacks and water. After another hour or so Pinni stopped and let us go on this awesome hike (unfortunately we only had a couple hours). The hike was through this very narrow wadi riverbed called Ibn Hammad that eventually dumps into the Dead Sea. It was a neat water hike, sloshing through 2-12" deep warm flowing water. The wadi walls were covered in these beautiful hanging gardens and there were a number of nice waterfalls along the way. After a couple hours we got back in the car and headed back up into the mountains and north (although not without some kids throwing stones at the car...and thankfully missing).

More driving north through the mountains, eventually coming to the largest canyon in the middle east, where the Aljun River is dammed (see below). After a few brief sightseeing stops we continue on until we reached a small Christian-dominated town called Ma'adaba. Here we stopped at a little restaurant and ordered fruit smoothies (a whole bunch of cold blended fruits - no filler) and hung out for a little while (walls covered in pictures of past Hashemite rulers...weird). Across the street was a little tiny Orthodox church that Pinni insisted we visit, and for good reason. Not so long back, a priest discovered a magnificent tile mosaic floor in the center of the church, showing unprecedented details of biblical holy sites throughout Egypt, Israel, and Jordan. The mosaic is so accurate that Israeli archaeologists have been using it as a guide. What was most interesting was the pictured size of the Dead Sea...which was huge 1200 years ago, but has since begun rapidly shrinking with the water demands of Israel, Jordan, and Syria.

Near the current northern edge of the Dead Sea (but up in the mountains), we stopped at an Egyptian restaurant for an early dinner. This was particularly good...there was falafel, hummous with phul (beans), various meats and kebabs, pita and a really good fried bread, roasted eggplant, etc. From there we headed due west to an amazing lookout to the Dead Sea and Israel...in fact, it was so amazing it was where God let Moses see (but not enter) the promised land before he died, a place called Mount Nebo (meaning prophet in Hebrew and presumably similar in Arabic). From here we descended quickly down to the desert plain again and met up with the highway that runs due north along the Israeli border. We drove for about 2 hours through a lot of little villages that house Palestinian refugees that were really, really poor. Eventually around sunset we made it to the border checkpoint. The Jordanian exit tax is only 8 USD (compare to day 9), and they take electronic pictures and thumbprints of you, ostensibly to speed up the process if/when you decide to come back. After changing our license plates back, we left behind Jordan after a really incredible (albeit whirlwind) trip - all of our first to an Arab country.

The Israeli border crossing was ridiculous...we had to empty the car and scan everything, including toilet paper, etc. They were kind of obnoxious to Joe and I because we could not speak Hebrew and were not Jewish...and it really seemed to confuse them why the hell we were in Israel and Jordan in the first place. But, everything chilled out when Adam explained he and Moriya were getting married...Israelis simply melt when you tell them something like that. Anyway, the crossing is at Bet She'an, a little town in the Galilee just north of the West Bank...Pinni then drove us across Israel back to Moriya's parents' house in Haifa, where we spent the night.

day 10: a hidden necropolis (my kinda place)

2006-05-17T20:49:00.000-10:00

We woke up in Wadi Rum at daybreak. I felt very well rested and immediately went to eat a typical middle east breakfast: hard-boiled eggs, pita, labane (soft cheese), hummous, black olives, cucumbers, jam, and (that wonder of wonders) nutella. We drove off back into Wadi Rum to visit some more bizarre rock structures for the early morning. I really couldn't get enough of this place, and was sad to leave, but we had some more exciting things to accomplish while we were in Jordan. We eventually somehow plopped right out of the desert onto a highway...Pinni knew exactly where to exit: a tire shop was located right there, waiting to re-fill the air in our SUV's tires.

Anyway, we drove up, up into the Edomite mountains for about 90 minutes until we reached this viewpoint looking down into another craggy desert. We stopped on the side of the road, and Pinni pointed out this particular peak that had a weird white cap on it (not snow). The white cap is a memorial...Aaron the brother of Moses is thought to have been buried at that site, and it is accordingly revered by Jews, Christians, and Muslims alike. We met some Europeans up here who were bicycling across southern Jordan (which seems insane, given the terrain). They related that they were too scared to travel to Israel, but really wanted to go. This seemed insane to me (and even more to Moriya)...you're more comfortable in Jordan than Israel? I mean, sure there's not a lot of terrorist attacks here (except for that whole Amman hotel bombing thing...), but that just sounds crazy. Anyway, maybe Pinni convinced them to go despite their fears.

We continued driving now down into the valley we overlooked, until we reached the outskirts of the city of Petra. This is technically the reason I insisted to Adam that we go to Jordan while I was in Israel. Ever since I was young, I have been a bit taken by this place. Petra is an ancient Nabatean city. The Nabateans where a nomadic semitic people who, roughly 2000 years ago, dominated the "spice" trade routes from Yemen through the Arabian peninsula, and all the way into Damascus, Gaza, and Cairo. Their main dealing was frankincense, these weird crystals used as perfumes, medicine, and all sorts of other random stuff...it was more significant than any gold or jewel at that time. Petra was the main stop along the way...a deep valley very well protected from raiding enemies, and with its own water supply (ground water, I guess). For whatever reason, the Nabateans were excellent stone carvers, and they cleft giant tombs for their leaders (among other things) into the colorful desert stone. They never lived in these carved buildings...they camped out in the valley. The stone buildings have lasted 2000+ years because they are carved into the rock faces...so they are proctected from rain, wind, etc. Anyway, Pinni hired us a Jordanian guide from the tourism ministry, and we headed off on a dusty road into the historical park.

Almost immediately, you start to notice little holes in the stone walls. And then you start to see these weird staircases above the holes, meant to represent some ascent to the Nabatean version of heaven for whomever was buried in the tombs. I just couldn't believe how well-preserved this stuff was (and had no clue what was waiting for me). Eventually the road curves into this huge, narrow cavern called the siq. The cavern is about 15-30 feet across and has rock walls going up at least 100 feet on either side. Along the siq walls are these stone-carved gutters, used to siphon water into the main area further into the city. The original cobblestone ground was still there in some places, complete with wedges worn in by the carts hauling the Nabatean goods. More impressive were the amazing colors of the rock walls in the siq, all sorts of brilliant yellow, orange, red in weird swirling patterns (reminds me of Jupiter, dorkily enough). Well, we wandered through here for about half an hour before we rounded this curve and got to see the view that's enchanted people for a hell of a long time...the "treasury".

Through the narrow end of the siq you catch your first glimpse of this (improperly named) ~100 foot high memorial to some Nabatean leader. Unfortunately, blogspot doesn't let me post rotated images, so you'll have to use the above picture that cuts off the top and bottom for now (I'll post better ones on my IfA page). The architecture of this building is magnificent, and apparently shows how well-versed the Nabateans were in other cultures' art (e.g., Greece, Rome, etc.). Even more exciting...you can go inside! However, there's nothing left in there. The building also actually has a lower floor that is currently being excavated. When I saw this I felt foolish for being impressed by the carvings at the start of Petra. Its simply ridiculous that such a perfectly preserved piece of art like this has been sitting in the Edomite desert for two millenia. Anyway, after a while we continue on.

Another 30 minute walk through similar buildings and you're just blown away...this place is fucking covered in these beautiful stone tombs....everywhere you look! Moreover, out of nowhere there's this huge outdoor amphitheatre (will post later) too. We climbed around a lot in all these caves...my favorite room was this beautifully marbled set of tombs carved out of the rock. This stuff was just everywhere, I can't explain how surreal it was. More walking and we end up in a vast open space, that valley we saw from above when talking to the cyclists. There was a long stone road leading to more tombs, but before that we climbed up a long set of steps hewn from the stone to this monstrous other complex (no clue what it is, since Adam had to tactfully fire our guide after he demanded more money without explaining himself).

From the top of these steps, at the face of this astonishing building, you could look all over the valley in Petra. And everywhere, you saw tombs and carvings, etc. etc. etc. The Nabateans must have been an incredibly sophisticated people, at the very least the most artistic in the Arabian peninsula's known history. We walked down that stone road and checked out some more tombs and ruins, and had fun watching some camels. But it was fucking hot and we'd been walking around for 5 hours in the heat. In the late afternoon we finally wandered back out throught the siq and waited for Pinni at our meeting point. He picked us up and we headed back up, up into the mountains.

I think I'll leave tonight's adventures to tell in tomorrow's post.

day 9: chasing T.E. Lawrence

2006-05-16T18:30:00.000-10:00

Today was a long day (and thus a long post). We woke up early in the Eilat hotel and had some breakfast. Pinni picked us up and we headed straight for the Arava border crossing to Jordan, about a 10 minute drive. First stop is the Israeli border checkpoint...you have to be fully searched and then pay an exit tax (of ~20 USD). That took about half an hour...we then drove about 100 yards to the Jordanian checkpoint, where the same thing had to happen (more checks, no entrance fee). We had to wait a while (~30 minutes) at the Jordanian checkpoint while they emptied out and searched the SUV. They changed from Israeli to Jordanian license plates (hey, there may be a peace treaty, but that doesn't mean people are going to be nice). It was a very surreal wait...this was my first monarchy, and there were giant pictures of King Hussein (deceased) and King 'Abdullah (current king) everywhere. Moriya looked very unsettled...not surprisingly, considering the country she was now in tried unsuccessfully to invade Israel and kill its Jewish inhabitants on 2 separate occasions. Eventually we got the OK (to be fair, the Jordanian soldiers were all very nice...although I think Pinni "bribed" several of them) and were off again for our first stop in the seaside port Aqaba.

We drove threw some resort-y neighborhoods in Aqaba, and saw an official Hashemite residence/palace on the Red Sea, before stopping in the downtown Aqaba area. Pinni told us to wander around for half an hour while he went into the market to buy some food. So we slowly went out on our own...3 white, obviously non-Jordanians wandering in the early morning markets. As we crossed through a little park, some men yelled at us from about a hundred yards away...that freaked me out until I realized they were yelling "Welcome!" in English. We spoke briefly to a woman near a mall about finding an ATM. After wandering past some shops (including a Brown's Chicken, believe it or not) we found our way back to the market and bought some drinks (Arab coke is just as good as Israeli coke, and has those funny pull-tabs on the cans). We stopped at a shitty little ATM in a much more lively Aqaba neighborhood and, unbelievably, I was able to withdraw 250 Jordanian dinars (roughly 375 USD). No one could believe it...why would a Jordanian ATM pay out, but not the Israeli ones? Anyway, I was happy ;).

From there we drove northeast into the mountains on one of only a few main highway arteries throughout Jordan. This was when I noticed on license plates that Arabic numerals look like our numerals...only for different numbers. For example, the Arabic "5" looks like our "0", the Arabic "6" looks like our "7", etc. That's just fucking confusing. Anyway, after an hour or so we pull into this desert/mountain area with a neat little village. We walk around in the buildings and Pinni explains that we're at Wadi Rum, the famous desert "moon" landscape where T. E. Lawrence (aka, Lawrence of Arabia) hid out during the Arab Revolt in WWI. After watching a neat movie about where we were headed, we stepped outside to see the giant rock structure responsible for Lawrence's memoir, "The Seven Pillars of Wisdom" (see left). Pinni also insisted that some local souvenir shop owner fetch the "girl with the eyes." We all thought this was odd, but in about 5 minutes this Bedouin girl, probably our age, shows up with the most intense green eyes we'd ever seen. She put on a traditional Muslim hijab that only enhanced the color, and they insisted that I take pictures. Very odd, but it was interesting to chat with these people.

After intentionally deflating the SUV's tires for our off-roading adventure, Pinni drove straight into the Wadi Rum...an enormous sand desert punctuated by these incredible rock formations all over the place. Wadi Rum is nestled along Jordan's southern border with Saudi Arabia, and is home to a number of Bedouin tribes that have lived here for many, many generations. I don't really know what to say about this place, except that it personifies "Middle East" or "Arabia" in my mind, and is probably the most naturally stunning location I've ever had the pleasure of visiting.

We drove fast up and over beautiful sand dunes, hiked around bizarre rock formations carved over millenia by the winds, climbed up the crumbling mountains to fresh springs, had very sweet tea in Bedouin tents, hiked around in the sands, and saw ancient Nabatean hieroglyphs (see tomorrow's entry), herds of camels and goats, and a whole bunch of other wonderful stuff you never imagine you'd see. It really struck me how amazing this place was in the late afternoon when we stopped in a shaded little corner between a shear ~300 foot rock face and a 40 foot sand dune to relax and have some Bedouin coffee. After that we drove out to this rock outcropping in the middle of nowhere to wait for the sunset. It occurred to us that it was amazing that Pinni knew exactly how to find his way around in this place with no maps and never once getting even confused about where he was. He claimed it was the old Israeli military training that taught him to memorize landmarks. Whatever the cause, it was pretty remarkable. Anyway, a whole crowd of tourists showed up at this location for the sunset...really the first sign of non-Bedouins for most of the day. It was, as expected, beautiful, as this quick snap of Moriya shows. The most incredible scene was looking to the southeast, over the vast desert into the mountains of Saudi Arabia.

In the twilight, we drove to the northeast across that really neat dry, cracked dirt, and eventually crossed the Hejaz Railroad (built by the Ottoman Empire to connect Istanbul and Mecca/Medinah, and repeatedly bombed by Lawrence and the Arabs). Right as it got dark, we arrived at the Bedouin camp where we would spend the night (exhausted). We hung out for a while drinking that delicious sweet Bedouin tea again in this nice traditional lounging area in a goatskin tent. Eventually, some more tourists showed up, and a girl from Cyprus noticed this enormous spider right next to us...I mean, holy crap this thing was like a tarantula (ok, smaller, but the largest spider I'd ever seen in the wild). Thankfully, it was dead. We ate a big dinner of grilled meats, salads, hummous, pita, rice, etc. etc. outside in the cool, but clear and dark night. Some Bedouin dude played this crazy guitar thing and sang next to a big bonfire. After dinner we sat by the bonfire and smoked a hookah. Eventually Adam and Moriya went to bed, and Joe and I stayed and smoked for a long time just relaxing. We went to our small tent around 11pm, and I had the most amazing sleep on these thick Bedouin comforters (so warm and nice)...I wasn't even disturbed that the tent wall kept brushing my face in the desert wind.

I think its safe to say that this day in Wadi Rum was probably the most incredible "vacation day" in my life...and it'll be hard to beat.

day 8: north to south

2006-05-15T21:25:00.000-10:00

Early this morning we got all our gear together and were picked up at Moriya's family's house in Haifa by our guide for a trip to Jordan. His name was Pinni...Israeli dude, probably late 30s, early 40s. There are only 3 border crossings between Israel and Jordan...and 1 of them (nearest to Jerusalem) is only for Palestinians. The goal for the day was to drive the 500 km from Haifa to Eilat, the little Red Sea port city at the very southern tip of Israel. We drove down the Mediterranean coast for a few hours, past Tel Aviv, and into the south before stopping in a little desert town to buy some food (making pretty good time). We then drove into the Lahav forest...which is this bizarre "artificial" place meant to prove that Israelis can grow anything in the desert. It was very pretty, but all the trees were clearly planted in nice rows, and the place was completely littered with empty Absolut bottles and beer cans. In fact, as we stopped for an hour or so to set up for lunch, all I could think about was "how the hell do these people come into the forest and drink such absurd amounts of alcohol?" Pinni made us shakshuka over a campfire...basically sauteed vegetables and scrambled eggs in a spicy tomato sauce. At this point, what we really needed was the Bedouin-style coffee he made before we hit the road again.

After some more driving he stopped the car at some dusty road in bumblefuck Israel (near Sde Boker) - and let me tell you, bumblefuck in the middle of the desert in Israel in 110 degree heat is really the middle of nowhere - and asked us if we "wanted to walk." We took this to mean he was taking us on a hike. He took this to mean he would meet us back at that spot in a few hours while we randomly wandered the desert in the mid-day sun. So, we loaded up with water and our dried fruit and started walking (Adam and I used the keffiyehs we bought in Nazareth the other day). The desert here was pretty interesting...it was (of course) hot as hell, that kind of oppressive hot you can feel in your nose and throat. But, it was freakishly quiet. No wind, no other people, nothing...just rocks, craters, mesas, and the occasional vulture (reassuring in my mind...which frequently runs to stereotype-land). We hiked for about 2 hours along a crudely marked "trail" playing a ridiculous game where you have to say a famous person's name that starts with the last name of the previous person called. Joe and I intentionally kept trying to screw Adam over with "K" names for some reason. :) The most exciting part was hearing (and feeling) the sonic booms from IAF F16s breaking the sound barrier above us. That was insane! Finally, in between these cliffs we came upon the hidden pools that Pinni told us about. Joe, Adam, and I got right in, despite the fact that the water was super freezing cold - why the hell are desert pools always so cold? Anyway, it felt wonderful and we just hung out in the cold pool eating dried fruit for a while. Eventually, we decided we'd never get back to the car by our meeting time, so Pinni met us halfway and we offroaded out of Sde Boker and continued down south.

We drove through this amazingly huge crater thing, made by ancient ocean waters (and not an impact) in Mitzpe Ramon on the way toward the southern part of Israel, where it is increasingly pinched into a triangle shape, with Egypt to the west and Jordan to the east. Totally randomly, in the middle of nowhere we come upon this row of tanks - that's correct, tanks - about 50 feet off the side of the road. And they're firing into the desert!!! Cool. Anyway, eventually we make it to the narrowest part of southern Israel, in these beautiful brown mountains, right at the border with Egypt. I hadn't come down here on my first trip to Israel because its just such a huge distance...we got here near sunset. We climbed up to the top of this lookout and had these breathtaking 360 degree views down. I took a crapload of pictures, but here's an example. The Israeli city Eilat is invisible, just beyond the foreground mountains. Egypt is about 50 m to the right (also not in the picture). Across the Red Sea is the Jordanian port city Aqaba, and in the upper right there's a dark/light stretch of buildings across the sea....that's Saudi Arabia (!). We stayed up here for a while just taking in the scene before driving through these beautiful mountain passes down into Eilat.

We checked into a hotel in Eilat, showered, and then walked into the main strip. Eilat is like a bad 80s version of Las Vegas (without gambling)...ok, maybe that doesn't make sense. But there's lots of beautiful people, neon, hotels, and noise. Anyway, we ate dinner on the Red Sea water and had a beer at an outdoor bar. I had developed a cold that day (weird, considering where we were...but I'm sure I got it from Michal on Shabbat), so we stopped in a mall and Moriya got me some Israeli Dayquil/Nyquil pills. Ironically, the nightime pills were orange, and they daytime ones blue (opposite in America)...I hated the rest of the trip having to seriously think about this before medicating. Anyway, the nightime pills basically induced a deep coma by 11pm.

day 7: Holy Mary I like baked goods

2006-05-14T20:15:00.000-10:00

This morning we borrowed Moriya's parents' car and drove into the hills to a little Druze village in the Galilee called Dhaliyat Ha-Carmel. Druze is a religious offshoot of Islam that no one really knows a whole lot about...including most of the Druze themselves. Their religious secrets are tightly guarded, only known to the clergy and elders. However, they are known to be extraordinarily loyal (they serve in the Israeli army) and maintain a pretty strict cultural identity. They also make nice souvenirs (especially hand-woven stuff) and sell it for dirt cheap....thus the visit to Dhaliyat Ha-Carmel. We stopped in a few little shops...my favorite was with the funny old man who held Adam's hand for about 10 minutes and kept saying "This Druze" as he pointed to things and telling Adam "You my cousin!" He also made tweeting noises at wooden birds in his shop, which was hilarious. I bought a bunch of stuff, and we had a quick lunch of falafel (seriously...I can't stop), hummous, phul (Egyptian-style beans), and olives.

Afterwards we drove out of the hills and onto some random gravel road into farmland to check out this "spice" shop Moriya likes. It was the most amazing spice shop I've ever seen...covered in mixes for rice, soup, tea, meat, etc. and it smelled wonderful. All grown right outside...they even gave us free tea. We bought some spice mixes and a bunch of dried fruits (apricots, dates, strawberries, and figs). Here's Moriya and Adam investigating all the stuff (I wish this place was in Hawaii...fat chance).

We had some time to kill, so we decided to drive to Nazareth, the largest Arab city in Israel and the hometown of your lord and mine, Jesus H. Christ. What is there to do in Nazareth? 1) The Church of the Anunciation: supposedly located where Mary (see left) was impregnated by God without losing her virginity (God is a prude). The Church (see right) was a surprise...its definitely the newest "holy" building I've ever seen in Israel...maybe 40 years tops. But, it was built on top of ruins of older churches dating back quite a long time. The neat thing about the Church was that every country in the world had donated a painting of their version of Mary...America's was awful. She looked like a devil-woman emerging from the pits of hell. Come to think of it, it was pretty awesome...not awful. On the bottom floor there's a grotto going down into old ruins that supposedly was where Mary was approached by the angel Gabriel (?). Anyhoo..., there's also (more importantly) #2) this freakin' bakery down the street that still makes me cry myself to sleep every night its so good. We ordered a big baklava selection (various kinds of honey-soaked pastry treats) to share with people at home and asked them to make some of this wonderful cheese thing. While we waited - watching Arabic soap operas - the bakers brought us lemonade and little plates full of pastries. The cheese thing was wonderful...it was basically cheese covered in a honey-soaked crust, but warm and better than it sounds.

So, after that we drove back toward the Mediterranean and stopped in a little town called Zichron Yaakov to buy a whole lot of meat for Itamar, Moriya's brother. That night, back in Haifa at Moriya's parents' house Itamar grilled us a ridiculous amount of duck burgers (so fatty and good), chorizo (beef, of course), chicken and steak skewers, steaks, and salads, etc. on the roof. It was one of those nights that you regret usually...but it tasted so good.

day 6: Shabbat in Haifa

2006-05-13T22:00:00.000-10:00

Shabbat morning I woke up first in the house...at 9:30am. One of the many nice things about observing Shabbat is that you're essentially obligated to completely chill out. That means everyone else had no plans to get up before 11am...except for little Michal. She is the only one in the family who doesn't speak excellent English (yet)...but that doesn't stop her from wanting to play games all day. She continued to instruct me in her games in Hebrew, and although she was generally patient, she didn't give me any free rides...if I screwed up, she told me so. In fact, after Joe woke up and "cheated" she calmly twisted his arm behind his back as punishment. I basically spent the entire day playing with Michal, reading my book, napping, eating, and going for short walks around the neighborhood. In the afternoon Moriya's friend came by, and we all (Michal included) went for a walk to the top of the mountain Haifa sits upon, past the Technion (Israel's MIT), to a great overlook...but, I didn't take pictures (out of respect...no electric switches are used on Shabbat, including on cameras). After sunset (when 3 stars were visible), Moriya's father led the Havdalah ceremony, which completes Shabbat and brings you back to the real world. We took the opportunity to drive down to the Mediterranean and sat outside on the beach at a bar for a couple drinks and a hookah. I have to say, there's something really nice about Shabbat...yes, you are forbidden from doing a lot of your everyday things. But, it forces you to decompress, relax, think, and enjoy your company.

day 5: adam arrives

2006-05-12T21:28:00.000-10:00

Joe and I got up this morning and packed for a weeklong sidetrip. After everything was settled, we went back to the Old City to walk along the ramparts (the walkways at the tops of the outer walls). Unfortunately, we didn't realize beforehand that half the ramparts were closed on Fridays because it is the Muslim holy day. Anyway, we started at the intersection of the Christian and Armenian quarters and started wandering around. Steps take you up next to the Citadel, or Tower of David (which later became a minaret, and is now a museum of Jerusalem's history), which you can see here along a rampart pathway. Wandering around the Armenian quarter walls, you get nice views of churches and buildings from the Armenian Orthodox (Christian) Patriarchate...nice little gardens, cemetaries, chapels, etc. As you cross into the Jewish quarter, you get a really nice view of the Temple Mount and beyond. This is a shot from the ramparts which has the Al Aqsa mosque dome in the foreground (the edge of the Temple Mount), and the Church of All Nations in the background, at the bottom of the Mount of Olives and top of the Kidron Valley. The Kidron Valley, or Valley of Jehoshaphat, is the place where, according to biblical sources, the final battle between good and evil will occur at the end of time (i.e., Judgment Day). And finally, here's a shot of the Mount of Olives itself...really more of a hill. Either way, the entire Mount is blanketed in gravestones. The most religious Jews (and Christians too) believe that the Messiah will descend upon the Mount on Judgment Day, and therefore those buried at that location will be the first to ascend to heaven. I was there the last time I was in Israel, but East Jerusalem is generally not a very safe place, so we avoided it.

Anyway, after lunch (falafel again!) Joe and I took a bus back to the airport near Tel Aviv to pick up Adam. When he finally arrived we took a sheroot up the Mediterranean coast to Haifa in the north to spend Shabbat (the Sabbath...ie, Saturday) with Moriya and her family. The sheroot driver was fucking insane...driving extremely fast around sharp curves, etc...it was crazy! Anyway, we arrived to a warm welcome from Moriya, her parents Leah and Shmulik, her younger sisters Yael (16) and Michal (7), her brothers Itamar (26) and Yuval (24), and Itamar's wife Maarav. Soon enough we had a delicious dinner with chicken and apricots and dates, barley, tabouleh, hummous, pita, labane, salads, sweet potatoes, and more (naturally, I over-ate). After some of the religious ceremonies for Shabbat, we all talked and relaxed before passing out.

day 4: one way to ruin a day...

2006-05-11T22:56:00.000-10:00

...is to visit the Holocaust museum and memorial in Jerusalem, called Yad Vashem. Ok, I shouldn't say "ruin a day", but it definitely doesn't count on the more exciting part of the trip. Nevertheless, visiting Yad Vashem should be an important part of anyone's trip to Israel, if for no other reason than to really get a better understanding of the horror of the Shoah (Holocaust) and how it led to the establishment of the state of Israel and the re-settling of the Jewish people in their historic homeland after nearly 2 millenia of dispersion. Make no doubt about it, you don't know how horrible the Shoah was until you're immersed in this long, narrow museum. We showed up around noon and spent about 3 hours looking at letters, clothing, newspapers, and other documents...as well as really horrible pictures. The one picture that stands out in my mind (I saw it last time I was there too) is from the Poland/Ukraine border. In a rapid sweep to the east, Nazi soldiers were attempting to rapidly wipe out Jews without bothering to send them to the camps. They had the men dig ditches all day, and then summarily lined them up row after row next to the ditches and fired into their backs. The picture is of a naked woman next to a ditch, carrying a young girl (maybe 2 or 3) and crouching to wrap her arm around her son (maybe 6)...a Nazi soldier stands about 1 meter away, his outstretched arm holding a pistol about 6 inches from the woman's head.

The end of the museum is fairly uplifting...there's a giant balcony outside the building with a beautiful view across a valley to the city of Jerusalem. I suppose it emphasizes that, even after all that horrible shit there's still a silver lining...the Jewish people were able to return to their holiest city and start over. Probably the most moving part of Yad Vashem is the Children's Memorial (here's a picture of a statue outside it). Inside a dark, seemingly cavernous room is a single lit candle. However, mirrors reflect the candle image 1.5 million times all over the room, while a voice reads names and hometowns of Jewish children killed by the Nazis. I didn't realize it, but fully 1/4 of the 6 million Jews killed by the Nazis were young children.

Anyway, the only thing you can do after an afternoon like that is drink. And so we did. After eating some delicious kebabs, we hit a little hookah bar until we got tired. (I promise this is the last depressing day.)

day 3: a guided tour

2006-05-10T13:21:00.000-10:00

This morning Joe and I headed to the Israel Museum in Jerusalem. This museum contains some really interesting stuff, and is way too extensive to see in just a day. But, we picked the interesting section about archaelogical finds in Israel proper. The land of Israel being extensively settled for 5000 years or more, there's obviously a lot of neat stuff in there. My favorite section is on the development of writing, in particular the wall-chart which shows the evolution of the alphabet from ancient cuneiform through Aramaic and its Arabic and Hebrew offshoots all the way through the modern English via the Phoenicians (who lived on the Mediterranean Sea in Israel/Lebanon). The highlight of the Israel Museum is the Shrine of the Book, that weird white thing, which contains the Dead Sea Scrolls. These scrolls were found in a cave and contain some of the oldest written copies of the Hebrew Bible (i.e., the Old Testament). There was surprising similarity between these 2000+ year old scrolls and the book you would read today (if you're not a Protestant).

After that, Joe and I headed to the mircaz, or city center, in this pedestrian street called Ben Yehuda (after the man who re-invented the Hebrew language ~100 years ago). We met up there for lunch with Moriya and two of her friends from the midrasha, Shoshie and Shani. After lunch, they took us to a neighborhood called Mea Shearim (100 gates) which is home to a large, crowded population of the most devoutly religious Jews in all of Jerusalem. The neighborhood has a lot of narrow, windy streets between apartments and shops, and is sort of silently bustling (don't know why I think of it like that, but its true). The residents really don't like being tourist attractions, so I would've never come here without the girls guiding us. There are huge signs requesting that people respect the beliefs of the residents by dressing modestly (long skirts/pants, no skin showing, etc.). These people are so pious and remarkably innocent/naive, they don't like to be corrupted by the outside world. A woman wearing shorts or a man in a tanktop could be harrassed, spat upon, or worse. Driving your car here on Shabbat (the Sabbath) will get you shouted at, and probably even stoned. It was really interesting to listen to the girls explain the different sects of Judaism here, even though on the surface everyone seemed the same. They even tried to smuggle us up into the women's section of a synagogue, but the doors were locked. No pictures here...I thought it would be disrespectful (ok, I didn't want an old man to spit on me).

From there, we walked to this major outdoor market nearby (Makhane Ben Yehuda). You can see Joe here in the market, along with Shani looking behind her to his right. I love these markets, and I wish we had them all over the US. Its so loud and crazy, and you can get really great deals on food. Its like full-contact grocery shopping...with extra yelling instead of musac. We bought some huge pitas, labane (a sour, soft cheese covered in olive oil and a spice mix called zhattar), dried dates, and pastries and then hopped on the bus back towards the OC.

We ended up in a park near an old, but very wealthy neighborhood just outside the OC called Yemin Moshe. After a brief picnic, we walked around the beautiful neighborhood (see flowery picture). This was the first area Jews settled in outside the walls of the OC. Moriya told us at first the people would work and live there during the day, but would return to the Jewish Quarter of the OC at night, because it was too dangerous. But now the homes there are owned by rich American/European Jews, who lease them out to artist studios and vacationers. It was very quiet and well-kept...a funny contrast after the market.

Afterwards, we all had coffee in the Jewish Quarter and spent some time on the roofs of the OC. This was really cool because you can see how cramped everything is. We talked to a security officer on the roof who has to escort Jews living in the Muslim Quarter around the city, and listened to the incredibly loud blare of the Muslim calls to prayer from all the nearby mosques. Walking through the bazaars of the OC at night is surreal...its completely quiet, and very dark, as you can see from this shot. These are the same crazy lanes I talked about yesterday...just shut down for the night. We headed back to the mircaz for dinner at a little bar...I had really spicy lentil soup (mmm...).

day 2: holy sites....i'll time you!

2006-05-09T22:36:00.000-10:00

After 16 hours of traveling, Joe and I were met by Moriya at the airport around 8:30am. First stop, ATM....and the pain in the ass begins. Despite the fact that it worked just fine last year (same card...same ATM), my card is "invalid" at this machine (and would prove to be invalid at every other Israeli ATM). That's fun. Thankfully Joe's with me, and his card works, or I'd be screwed. Off we go in a minivan/taxi (sheroot) to Jerusalem, a roughly 40 minute drive to the east, up in the hills.

Moriya guided us to the apartment we'd rented for the month, in a little Jerusalem neighborhood due north of the Old City called Ramat Eshkol (about a 10 minute walk from Arab neighborhoods in East Jerusalem, and bordered all around by religious Jewish neighborhoods). The apartment is large (surprising) and spartan (not surprising), sublet from a religious American couple who made aliyah (immigrated to Israel). There's a nice little market downstairs, with falafel stands, pizza, bakeries, banks (which are useless to me), and a grocery store. Moriya had to take off for classes in her midrasha (a school where Jewish women study their religion for a year or so). Joe and I are hardcore, so we get ready to have a full day of super-holy tourism fun in the Old City.

The Old City of Jerusalem contains the holiest places in the world to Jews (the Western Wall, or kotel), Christians (the Church of the Holy Sepulcher), and Muslims (the Dome of the Rock and al-Aqsa mosque, actually third most important to Mecca and Medina). The half-joking goal was to see all of these sites between lunch and dinner. We took a quick taxi to the Zion Gate into the Old City and entered there. I think it would be fun from now on to abbreviate OC = Old City. The OC is divided into 5 sections: the four "quarters", Jewish, Muslim, Christian, and Armenian (huh!? that's right...they're Christians too), and the Temple Mount which is a raised area where the Jewish temple used to be. We had a nice lunch of moussaka and salads in the Jewish Quarter before starting the adventure.

We start at the Western Wall, the border of the Jewish Quarter and the Temple Mount.

The Western Wall is the only surviving structure dating to the Jewish Temple, and is revered by Jews as such. It was once a retaining wall for the Temple Mount structure (destroyed, for the second time, by the Romans in 70 CE), and is widely acknowledged to be genuine (based on the stones/architecture typical of the style of King Herod, the Jewish monarch under which the 2nd temple was built). 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, there are a mix of pious Jews, tourists, Israeli soldiers, whoever praying at the wall. Its really neat to see at night, and the men have a much better view than the women (sadly for them). Anyone is allowed to approach the wall and pray as long as you're modestly dressed and wearing a head-covering. Many people leave little handwritten notes in the cracks between the stones with prayers on them (I've even seen prayers written on personal checks). Being at the wall is a really neat experience, sometimes it can be loud with prayers and lamentations from the religious (I've seen 90+ year-old men sobbing at the wall, lamenting the destruction of the Temple), or eerily silent (like at night) despite the large number of people gathered. After checking it out for a while, it was time to do something crazy....ascend the Temple Mount.

Why is that crazy? Well, the Temple Mount is a huge flashpoint for violence in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. In the 7th century, Muslim armies captured Jerusalem and, recognizing the sanctity of the Temple Mount as the connecting point between God and earth (in the preceding Judeo-Christian culture) built a shrine (the Dome of the Rock) and a mosque (al-Aqsa) on it. Judaism and Christianity call for the re-building of the Temple on the mount to bring about the coming of the messiah (or re-coming). The crazy thing, as the picture below shows, is that these holy sites are yards apart. The wall is illuminated below, the Dome of the Rock above. Ariel Sharon's visit to the mount in 2000 (1?) was used as an excuse for igniting the 2nd Intifada (uprising against Israel). It is unfortunately not uncommon for angry Muslim worshippers to rain rocks/bricks off the Temple Mount down onto Jewish worshippers at the Western Wall.

The covered ramp to the right in the photo above takes us up to the Maghrebi entrance to the Temple Mount, which I was told is the only one accessible to non-Muslims (but I later found that hard to believe). You can only be up there between 8am-noon and 1:30-3pm, so that you avoid Muslim prayer times and don't piss anyone off. They are super-serious about the religious rules...no religious paraphenalia, no praying, singing, bowing, men and women can not make any physical contact, etc. They are paranoid (and maybe somewhat rightfully) that fanatical Jews/Christians will get carried away and blow up the mosques to make way for the 3rd Temple (you know, so the messiah comes). Even so, its kinda sad that a site that is the undisputed heart of 2 major religions is forbidden ground for prayer because a third has a monopoly on it. Regardless, most religious Jews will not set foot on the Temple Mount. When the Temple stood, you must be ritually pure to enter the grounds, and to do so you needed to make a sacrifice. Since these sacrifices can no longer be made (without the Temple), its illegal for a Jew to be up there. I'll get back to that another day.

The Temple Mount is this enormous stone plaza...very well-kept, dotted with little parks and trees. We came up right next to the al-Aqsa mosque, which looks pretty ugly from a distance, but the exterior has some neat artistic stonework that you can only see from close-up. There are great views all over Jerusalem from up here, and some neat remnant structures from various times...Roman, Muslim, Byzantine Christian (i.e., Crusaders), Turkish, etc. But, in the direction facing away from al-Aqsa is the crowning achievement on the mount, the beautiful Dome of the Rock. You walk up these stone stairs through columned archways into a big elevated plaza to see this thing.

The Dome of the Rock is technically a shrine, and not a mosque. There's a large rock inside that is thought by Muslims to be the location where Mohammed ascended into heaven. The same rock is revered by Jews/Christians as the site where Abraham bound Isaac before almost sacrificing him and where the Ark of the Covenant was stored inside the holiest place in the Temple (the rock is the peak of Mount Moriya...thus her name). The building is really stunning (more on the art another day), but I was very pissed off to be told we couldn't go inside. We were told that non-Muslims were forbidden. This didn't used to be the case, but apparently the rules were changed after the intifada started. It really irks me that Islam is the only religion I've ever heard of that forbids non-believers from seeing their shrines/places of worship. Fuck them.

Anyway, after we had enough of that we left the Temple Mount through a different entrance back into the OC, but this time in the Muslim Quarter. This area is filled with narrow, winding streets packed with people and little shops and lots of yelling, etc. I vaguely knew where the Church of the Holy Sepulchre was...ok, I didn't really know, but I was strangely overconfident in my ability to wander around the OC and find whatever I was looking for without getting lost/killed. Oddly enough, I went directly there with no diversions! The Church is located in the Christian Quarter of the OC (shocker), and from the outside looks like the garage from the Ghostbusters movie. There, I said it. But inside the Church is really neat. There are a number of different sections in the Church run by different sects of Christianity...Greek Orthodox, Catholic, Coptic, etc. (Protestant denominations have a different site outside the OC). The Church was first built around 300 CE after the Emperor Constantine's mother came on a pilgrimmage and randomly decided that she found the locations of Jesus' crucifixion and burial. Below is a picture of the Greek Orthodox-run shrine marking the location of the crucifixion (where Constantine's mother supposedly found a piece of the "true" cross). Last time I was there, Adam commented to me about Jesus' "futuristic space suit".

Less than 50 yards away is this giant square tomb (the sepulcher) in the middle of a domed room (very pretty and eerie) covered in candles and incense. You can go inside the tomb and check out where Jesus was "buried"...its funny, because I remember him being buried in the side of a mountain. But anyway, the art/atmosphere are neat. Here's a picture of a Jesus-beam into that dome above the tomb. There's a lot of neat Byzantine art in the Church, which you can see if you click on the picture (more later).

Yeah...so, after all this we decided to call it a day. It was more interesting than exciting, but still fun. How often do you spend a Tuesday afternoon visiting the holiest sites for 3 religions? That's what I thought. When Joe and I got back to the apartment we silently ate falafel and then went to bed by 8pm. I was completely exhausted.

day 1: getting there

2006-05-08T22:30:00.000-10:00

woke up at 5am...the extra security apparently requires you to arrive 3 hours prior to departure. i decided to fly El Al, Israel's national airline, partly because it was a good deal on a direct flight and partly for security reasons (these planes have anti-missile technology). there's a little lobby in front of the El Al ticket counter, where about 5 little stations are randomly set up. each station has a small music stand and a trash can and is manned by a neatly dressed security agent. i'm called up to one manned by a man and woman. i'm told the man is in training for a new security technique. initial reaction: "shit."

question 1: "m'daber ivrit?" (do you speak Hebrew?). answer 1: "lo." (No). Why are you traveling to Israel? A wedding and for tourism. Who's wedding? My best friend. What's his name? Adam Suberi. Is he Israeli? No. What's his fiancee's name? Moriya Reznikovich...she's Israeli. Who is meeting you in Israel? Moriya. You have no family in Israel? No. Are you part of the greater Israeli family? (i.e., are you Jewish?) No.

.......many questions about who I am, who I'm traveling with, where I'm going, names/jobs/heritages/citizenships of people I know........

You've been to Israel before...why? Apparently its not ok to just be interested in religion, history, politics, etc. Questions begin to repeat themselves. It's been 30 minutes. Everyone else around me has flown by. They ask to see my maps/plans. Finally...they demand to call Adam in St. Louis to test my responses. They eventually wake him up (it's 7:15am) and he confirms my "story". More questions: What do you do in St. Louis? Uh, I told you I live in Honolulu like 3 times now. And I told you I'm a student (getting pissed off now). What do you study? Astronomy. Oh! So, do you believe in the Big Bang theory? Uh, yes, I do. What would an alternative theory for the origin of the universe be? While they were clearly trying to test if I really was studying astronomy (I, oddly enough, had no material proof with me on vacation), I actually had to laugh out loud when I explained why the steady-state universe theory pioneered by Hoyle, Narlikar and colleagues is in a losing struggle with validity. Finally, after nearly 50 minutes: we're going to get Moriya's number from Adam and call her in Israel.

10 minutes later my friend Joe shows up...they know his story well by now, and as he approaches the security lobby someone else in El Al security (who I never spoke to) announces to him: "You are Joe Gabel!" He looks completely shocked...it was funny. Well, Moriya fixed it all, and I'm finally allowed to approach the ticket counter to get a boarding pass!! By the way, here's a picture of Joe.

to be fair...out of pity they let Joe and I hang out in the VIP lounge before the flight, which was pretty nice. but, in the lounge we discover something even funnier than the ridiculous security check: the term direct flight apparently doesn't translate well into Hebrew...our plane is stopping in Newark, New Jersey! so, for about 90 minutes we - all 8 or so of us - flew on a giant 747 to newark. the flight then loaded up for the rest of the 11 hours to tel aviv. it was weird, because the direction of travel led to a very brief "night" over western europe. we'll arrive at about 8am local time.

to the middle east

2006-05-04T03:40:00.000-10:00

well, i just thought i'd post once more before heading to Israel on monday morning. this is my last day in boston (i fly to chicago tonight)...and therefore last day of "working" until mid-june. so that's nice. boston was a lot of fun, especially getting to hang out with chris and kari. i'm pretty sure i am in the early stages of liver failure, and i'll probably have DTs through the weekend...but still, its been good.

the current plan is to hang out in jerusalem for a few days until adam arrives. then up to the north of the country for the weekend (Shabbat). next saturday night we'll drive all night down to Eilat, at the southern tip of Israel on the Gulf of Aqaba where Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Israel, and Egypt all meet. then 3 days of hiking in the Jordanian desert around Petra (mmm...exercise...finally!). after that, i have no clue. so, have fun kids...there'll be a serious day-by-day posting sequence of the trip with pictures once i get back (slowly) at the start of june. until then, try not to get yourselves blown up (uh...me too).

a beautiful weekend...for drinking

2006-05-01T05:43:00.000-10:00

this weekend in Boston was perfect weather-wise, low to mid-60s without a cloud in the sky, light breeze...very spring-like. what would you naturally do in such weather? apparently the answer is drink beer as if your very life was at stake. friday night in harvard square for about 6 hours...saturday for 10 hours (starting at 2 pm) mostly at the oldest tavern in america and also the bar where the boston tea party was planned (across the street from one another)...and then sunday for only about 4-5 hours at the brewery across from fenway park. it was ridiculous, to say the least. the beer/pubs here are outstanding...we even tried this weird German wheat beer with "essence of woodruff" (as far as I could tell it was lemon-lime syrup).

the only negative thing this weekend was that claire failed to visit. that's right, i said "failed". but maybe i'll see her again...sometime...maybe in like 10 years or something. maybe by then she'll have a driver's license. ;)

* - sigh - *

2006-04-28T08:20:00.000-10:00

i'm finally done giving this silly talk...the last one wrapped up about an hour ago at Harvard. all of them went pretty well, but i genuinely got sick of hearing myself speak over and over again. its kinda sad when you can actually bore yourself ;) but, other people seemed to find the stuff interesting...so maybe someone will give me a job.

what's even more fun is getting to hang out and work in Boston. i've got my own little space set up here in Cambridge in a nice office...great cafe right across the street attached to the most magically wonderful bakery in the world (i wish Hawaii had bakeries that were better). i had this awesome sandwich for lunch with tuna and a host of other stuff on fresh bread, including (believe it or not) harisa! (if you don't know, its this middle-eastern hot sauce). yum! (all the food info is for liz ;)

i'm in maryland...

2006-04-23T12:16:00.000-10:00

...and i've never been so excited. or, maybe not. the University of Maryland is actually very nice. big green lawns and colonial-style red-brick buildings everywhere, but surprisingly empty for such a large number of people that supposedly attend school here. anyway...

yesterday i took some pictures on the walk from the subway to my parents' house because it was such a nice day. all the big trees are lime green with buds, and there's a lot of bright pink and white flowers everywhere.

i don't remember chicago getting such a nice-looking spring very often...it usually goes from horribly cold and grey to really hot within a couple days (or hours, sometimes). but its pretty nice if you discount the allergies. i suppose maryland is similarly pretty.

here's my parents' house, and where i grew up. ah, suburbia.

its all spring-like here...

2006-04-20T11:18:00.000-10:00

i forgot about that season. i'd like to thank whoever makes claritin, otherwise i couldn't enjoy it. here's a shot of the skyline from the 57th street beach.

finally...a beach day

2006-04-09T13:00:00.000-10:00

at long last the weather on the weekend was finally nice enough to go back to the beach. we chose sunset on the north shore to avoid sewage spills...great afternoon for beaching (water was very cold though), and then spent the evening at ke iki beach

dave twirled fire (but we didn't have a bonfire...). but, most importantly was the adorable, playful 11-week old puppy that some random people we met brought with them:

his name is mason, and he apparently thought he was a rabbit. it took tremendous willpower not to take him and ditch everyone at the beach.

botany, buddha, and the return of the sun

2006-04-02T17:18:00.000-10:00

the rain stopped falling...after 40 days and 40 nights (i'm sure pat robertson will make some connection to the Lenten season, and why shouldn't he?) and liz and i went walking around my immediate neighborhood (he shouldn't because he's a jackass...that's why) to check out the Foster Botanical Gardens which starts within 2 blocks of my apartment and i still never went to it until yesterday. anyway, there's a lot of big trees in there (and mosquitos). unfortunately, they were usually too big to get a good shot...

as evidenced by liz standing here inside a big banyan tree...

or here next to another giant tree (which i can't recall the name of). anyway, good stuff in there like cacao, monkeypod, cannonball, and sausage trees to name a few. afterwards we walked around a bit in chinatown and checked out this buddhist temple (there are at least 4 in a 10-block radius from my apartment, and the incense from the nearest one often wafts up to my 20th floor apartment)...

this one has a pretty ornate exterior, but nothing too exciting inside (some folding chairs and a statue surrounded by incense and lots of sake bottles). either way, it was nice to be out of the rain. now i just can't wait until the mud and pooh floats away so i can swim again.

boredom breeds creativity

2006-03-27T13:13:00.000-10:00

it seems like it will never stop raining here lately...and living on a tropical island i'm not used to being trapped inside all weekend. but, liz did make a fun suggestion to play with some watercolor paints on saturday. i haven't made a painting since i was about 13, so it was pretty fun. now i have to decide whether to put mine up on the fridge or not.

as you can see...liz is much better at this than i am, despite me being a master of colorful blobs.

the joy of coins

2006-03-19T14:26:00.000-10:00

i just redeemed $262.55 worth of fucking coins i had laying around. holy shit.

ps - CoinStar does not accept agorot or shekels, in case you were curious. or frighteningly large, coin-shaped pieces of lint.

the downside of email filters...

2006-03-03T16:17:00.000-10:00

i disabled my email spam filter about 15 months ago because it mistakenly rejected an email from an academic journal that postponed publication of one of my papers for months...not that big a deal, but i figured i'm more efficient than the software available to me. however, i've noticed a fundamental shift in the content of these emails over that year's time. it used to be all about bank accounts and erection pills...but now its primarily focused on two things: (1) Canadian/Mexican pharmacies, and (2) pills which supposedly increase the volume of the average ejaculate.

i'm not well-versed enough in health-care issues to discuss the first...but i'm smart enough to know that nobody involved wants "more sperm". its almost too funny to read these emails. example subject lines from the last 45 minutes include: "With Spermamax one towel won't be enough to wipe off your sperm" (as if the 'to wipe off your sperm' was necessary...we didn't get the reference until that was elucidated), or "Spermamax is good not only for your penis and sperm but also your overall health." i'm very much tempted to post the entire contents of these emails, because they're so ridiculously funny. ok...just some excerpts:

"Would you like to be the father of the whole kindergarten?"
"Don't flood with your sperm the neighbors downstairs after using Spermamax"
another email oddly suggests that the herbs in this product have been used by "kings" throughout history, maybe trying to convince you that if you have a larger volume of sperm each time you ejaculate you will somehow become a monarch. it ends with "She will cum only from seeing you cum." Ha!

god damnit that shit's funny.

fuck tim allen

2006-03-01T19:11:00.000-10:00

that fucking loser has a new movie out where he turns into a god damn dog.

rodent conspiracy

2006-02-24T09:45:00.000-10:00

a year or so ago i signed up to get emails (sometimes 3+ a day) from a group called the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI), which is basically a group of academics that spend their time providing accurate translations of news reports, editorials, TV & radio programs in Middle Eastern countries. the motivation behind this is the gross inaccuracy of most of the provided translations in our media, and to really explore the biases and outright viciousness in the (primarily state-run) news agencies throught the Arab world. it is definitely an interesting site, and most of the stuff is so outrageous its hard to believe. the "conspiracy theory mentality" that runs rampant in this part of the world is, to put it simply, frightening. i mentioned to some of you how a simple error by a virulently antisemitic conspiracy theorist (read this about Bollyn) started a rumor that middle east expert and popular blogger Daniel Pipes instigated that whole Muhammad cartoon uproar intentionally, so that US Christians would see Muslims as crazy violent protestors and then hate them more and not care about waging more war (I really hope that wouldn't work...). the palestinian ambassador to the US then stated that rumor as indisputable fact on the air with Wolf Blitzer (much to his shock...it was funny).

anyway, to give a funnier (although more scary) twist on this, MEMRI recently published a transcript of a speech given by a member of the education ministry in Iran. the claim in this speech is that Tom & Jerry (yes, the cartoon) is a Jewish propaganda tool designed by the Jew-loving Walt Disney (nevermind the fact that he was a known Nazi sympathizer...and he had nothing to do with this particular cartoon). the idea is that, because Jews during WWII were often called "dirty mice", having a powerful (in his words "cruel") but lovable mouse would influence generations of children to think that mice aren't such bad little things. it isn't very clear to me how children would then make the Jew-mouse association. i think its unclear because we don't spend our time educating our children that Jews are horrible, dirty animals, but that's just my opinion. its definitely worth reading the article, especially if you feel uninformed about how the media works elsewhere.

also, walking into work today i saw this 3-year-old girl with pigtails and a black led zeppelin shirt. it was pretty funny, and i kinda wanted to shake her dad's hand.

magical mystery tour

2006-02-23T11:26:00.000-10:00

i have 6 weeks to sufficiently finish my thesis work that i can tell the people i want to give me a job about it in a coherent fashion. i try and tell myself 6 weeks is a long time, but i can't even pretend that's the truth anymore (isn't it funny when you try and lie to yourself and you call your own bullshit? i think so). anyway, in 6 weeks i start a magical mystery tour giving seminars and going on vacation which will take me away from hawaii for the longest time since i moved here 4.5 years ago...here are the dates, try and catch a show:

Thursday, April 13: Honolulu, Hawaii (seminar at the IfA)
Tuesday, April 18 - Saturday, April 22: Chicago, Illinois
Sunday, April 23 - Tuesday, April 25: College Park, Maryland (seminar at University of Maryland)
Wednesday, April 26 - Thursday, April 27: Charlottesville, Virginia (seminar at NRAO)
Friday, April 28 - Thursday, May 4: Boston, Massachussetts (seminar at Harvard University)
Friday, May 5 - Monday, May 8: Chicago, Illinois (packing)
Tuesday, May 9 - Wednesday, May 31: Israel (+ Petra, Jordan and maybe Sinai, Egypt)
Thursday, June 1 - Sunday, June 4: Chicago, Illinois
return to Honolulu on Monday, June 5

hopefully i won't get fired for being gone too long. or kidnapped and killed in the middle east. those are my main fears...in that order.

kualoa - its for cameras

2006-02-12T16:16:00.000-10:00

i went camping this weekend on the windward (northeast facing) side of the island with dave, liz, david, and angelica. we had a little grassy area on the beach at kualoa beach park, with nice views of the koolau mountain range, the ocean, and the little island offshore called "chinaman's hat" (very pc).

overall, the weather was great, particularly considering its mid-winter on the rainy side. we did get a brief rainstorm on saturday, but it gave me this great rainbow picture out of "the structure" (metal poles and tarps):

i got a new camera a couple months ago, and this weekend really gave me the opportunity to try it out in a variety of settings. i basically stood on the beach for 10 minutes playing with apertures and polarizer settings to get this shot of chinaman's hat and the kaneohe area in the background.

so, that's 3 feet from where i slept for 2 days. its tough, i know. my camera has a lot of neat manual settings, and i took the picture below looking straight up above our picnic table to catch the orion constellation through some palm trees. a 120 s exposure shows both the rotation of the earth (star trails) and the various star colors (betelgeuse is red, etc.). it looks better if you click on it...

i have a crapload more pictures, many of which i'm going to try and string into some crappy low-time-resolution movies. but here's a last one of the mountains right behind the campsite at dawn today.

oddly enough, i have virtually no pictures of human beings. i think dave has negatively influenced my photographic inclinations...but oh well.

oops...i forgot the optimism

2006-01-26T11:01:00.000-10:00

ok...the negative vibe of that last post inspired me to comment again. the outlook may not be so horrible. here's a way out. the US, EU, etc. forbid any economic aid to Hamas because it is a terrorist group. in the face of this overwhelming economic pressure to not screw over their own people as soon as they take power, Hamas must comply to demands and recognize the right of Israel to exist. at the very least, they must also declare a truce, if not renounce violence altogether. then, hopefully Kadima or Labor (most likely the former) will be elected in Israel and can pursue negotiations with the current leader Abbas (provided he doesn't resign). if that doesn't work (ie, if Abbas resigns), Israel will most likely continue the policy of unilateral withdrawal from regions in the West Bank, draw its final borders on its own terms (bad for Palestinians), and leave the Palestinians to fend for themselves. note...that's not a peace deal.

A New Terrorist Government

2006-01-26T10:32:00.000-10:00

The first election results in a decade for the Palestinian Authority (PA: the governing body of the Palestinians in the occupied West Bank and Gaza) came in today, indicating that the fundamentalist Islamic terrorist group Hamas won in a landslide. This is bad news for a number of reasons, but maybe not disastrous (we'll see). First of all, it is sad that the losing Fatah party, in power for the last several decades, is so corrupt and ineffectual that their own people have suffered so much due to their incompetence and turned to the fanatic alternative.

Bad things #1: Hamas is a radical Islamic organization which openly advocates, promotes, and rewards the murder of innocent Israeli civilians, does not recognize the right of Israel to exist, repeatedly calls for the extermination of Jews in Israel, and has as an end goal the destruction of Israel and the establishment of an Islamic theocracy in Palestine (think Iran or the Taliban's Afghanistan). Obviously, no one wants any of those things to happen. However, to be fair Hamas does provide the service infrastructure (hospitals, schools...although grounded in religious zealotry, jobs, etc.) that Fatah never managed to provide, despite the tons of money dumped on them from foreign governments (Yassir Arafat is thought to have been worth a huge sum of money after squirreling away a good chunk of that to his personal finances). But, this is still a group that teaches children how to rig themselves with explosives belts (usually fake for the youngest kids) to prepare them for future suicide bombings in buses, restaurants, markets, etc. in Israel.

Bad things #2: Although Hamas political leaders have been carefully toning down the rhetoric lately and seem to be taking on a more pragmatic political role, they also have categorically stated that negotiations with Israel are not forthcoming. This is a tragedy considering that now is the first time in a decade or more that the Israeli public has drifted clearly to the center...all indications are that the Israeli public is sick and tired of war and they want negotiations to end the conflict once and for all. The problem is that there is now no one to talk to...but perhaps that can change.

Bad things #3: Hamas has put Israel in particular, but also the US, EU, and Russia in a tough situation that could have powerful repercussions in the way we deal with terrorists. Will these countries recognize, and more importantly support diplomatically and economically the new Hamas government? The US law is clear...it is illegal to give the Palestinians money if Hamas makes up the government, unless the group is removed from the terrorist organization list. Without US economic aid, one of the poorest and most densely populated regions in the world will collapse and people will suffer. So, does the US cut off the Palestinian people, or does it tacitly legitimize one of the most extreme terrorist groups currently in existence?

Bad things #4: While I think I could go on listing crap for days, I want to bring up this most important point of all. These election results will undoubtedly influence the upcoming Israeli elections in March. It is too soon to say what effect they will have. Traditionally, in times of conflict or fear of terrorism, the Israeli public has leaned to the right, where the Likud party is seen to be toughest on security. Since Ariel Sharon left that party and moved to the center, everything seemed to be getting better...the Israelis had their cake (security) and could eat it too (peace negotiations). Sharon's massive stroke and subsequent incapacitation have changed the situation. The most significant bad thing coming from the Hamas election could be the re-election in Israel of the Likud party, and particularly its leader Benjamin Netanyahu as prime minister. Netanyahu is a smarmy, sneaky bastard who tries to play both sides (left and right) but is too cowardly to abandon his conservative base (like Sharon did)...he ends up making poor leadership decisions and instigating violence. But, he correctly predicted the Hamas victory months ago, and now will be on the offensive against the centrist (Kadima) and left (Labor) parties.

I'll come back to this more if there's interest and as things develop.

wow..."fan" attention

2006-01-18T13:15:00.000-10:00

so, there's this website by this guy "maddox", that chris pointed out to me like a year ago and i haven't really looked at it since (its linked from my page though...pretty funny). i now realize where i first heard the term "big blubbering vagina"...chris used to say it, and its from this guy's site (in reference to Bill O'Reilly...another accurate description). what is amazing is that this guy somehow found my blog, and left me comments bitching about how i was stealing his material! hilarious. there's a lot of other good shit on his website, although looking at it now i realize he's not writing as much due to a book he's putting together. too bad, there's no additional stuff for me to steal and post on my blog designed for like 10 friends off which i'm not turning any profit.

maybe...just maybe, this guy should relax. but i still feel honored that he took the time to comment on my blog (seriously). i wonder if i talk enough shit about the president i'll get arrested, or if i call sean penn a pussy he'll come to my house and try and kill me. don't worry maddox...my 10 friends will now give you credit where its due, you creative genius you.

boxing...

2006-01-18T10:52:00.000-10:00

last night i went with liz and dave to my first boxing class...although there was some muay thai kicking too. anyway, much to my surprise, the thing that hurts the most today is . . . . my calves. what? i don't know. they probably just needed a good workout (or any workout). actually, nothing else hurts (i just noticed that i have severe hand tremors, though). good workout though, and it doesn't drain you physically, emotionally, and spiritually like a good jiu-jitsu practice. as i expected, i've gone around all morning thinking about punching people in the face. i like that.

Pat Robertson is a big blubbering vagina

2006-01-06T10:27:00.000-10:00

On wednesday night, the Israeli prime minister Ariel Sharon had a massive stroke. He is currently hospitalized in Jerusalem, but is not realistically expected to recover. less than 3 weeks ago, he had another minor stroke. He is 77 years old, 5.5 feet tall, and weighs about 260 lbs. He is notorious for literally working 20 hour days and has been under a tremendous amount of stress since this summer's unilateral disengagement from the Gaza strip...a personally difficult thing to do for Sharon based on his own religious principles, let alone the constant threats on his life and dealing with fanatics (who, among other things, threatened to dig up his wife's corpse if he went through with the disengagement). So, he basically sounds like a health crisis waiting to happen.

Pat Robertson, the (somehow) widely popular leader/creater of the Christian Coalition and a close adviser to the conservative Republican right in this country, publicly commented - while Sharon lays in a medically-induced coma - that the stroke was divine wrath from God because Sharon was dividing "His" land (ie, by giving up Gaza). Nevermind the fact that many biblical scholars have argued that Gaza was probably not included in ancient Israel. Nevermind the fact that Sharon was obscenely obese, stressed, and old. As the leader of a "Christian" coalition, one might expect Pat to be a little more compassionate for a dying man. I mean, Arab leaders aren't even being so obnoxious...well, with the exceptions of terrorist leaders and the president of Iran (but he's clearly insane and constantly ranting that the holocaust was a myth...foaming at the mouth and such).

Remember also that Pat was the same person who publicly called for the assassination of the President of Venezuela just a few months ago. This is what people mean when they complain about the religious right in this country...more than 1 million people each day watch Pat whine and jerk himself off on his TV program "The 700 Club". He yields tremendous influence over the GOP, including pleas for more insensitivity over homosexuality/gay marriage, AIDS (I believe he's still confused about this disease complex), and terrorism. I'm sure Jesus is spinning in his grave. (I wonder if that's offensive...)

liz-envy

2005-12-19T14:12:00.000-10:00

incidentally, thursday night i rolled my ankle. i figure it was partly my flipflops, and partly being a bit drunk, and partly a subconscious desire to be more like liz. but check out the wicked bruise that developed...it hurts, and i don't want to wear shoes in the cold, cold chicago winter.

choi was here

2005-12-19T14:08:00.000-10:00

choi visited me this weekend on a sidetrip from visiting her parents' new home in retirement on kauai. we had a pretty good time just chilling out, here on a beautiful saturday on the windward side. but, since i'm about to get on a plane, i figure i should keep this one short and sweet.

i heart joss stone

2005-12-13T15:17:00.000-10:00

not in a sick way, fuckers. her music kicks ass...thanks to liz for giving it to me ;)

fire + black markers = fun

2005-11-20T20:44:00.000-10:00

saturday was a nice day. liz made yummy gourmet breakfast on our way out to the north shore. we spent the afternoon at waimea and then had dinner at cholo's. that was where i saw the funniest thing ever scrawled on a bathroom stall wall: "if you voted for bush, you can't shit here...your asshole is in washington." now that's just creativity at its best. anyway, after dark we hit up ke iki beach for some serious fire twirling:

i'm too focused on my hands to really enjoy this, but at least i didn't burn myself or others.

i got a crapload of pictures this time, and there are a lot of good ones (especially of dave)...but i like this one because a whole bunch of people are going at once. now, the real highlight of the evening was ahia's brilliant idea of bringing black magic markers to give fake tattoos (the real reason was for a "guns n roses" party that we never made it to).

even better is the fact that ahia is quite the artist, as you can see from liz's kickass back-art. i was both sad and happy that the stuff washed off when i showered (mostly).

i hate tom cruise

2005-11-16T21:44:00.000-10:00

and its not because he's a terrible actor, or because of his insane katie holmes obsession (seriously...can she really be that great?). its because he's a scientologist...and anyone who's a scientologist is a complete assclown. now, i might not seem like the most religiously tolerant person, but anyone who really knows me would understand that i'm actually in favor of religion: it just pisses me off when people (e.g., evangelical christians, islamic terrorists...yes, they should be lumped in the same category) pervert their chosen truth. but scientology is not a religion. it is a cult, and tonight's episode of "South Park" prompted me to investigate just how frightening it really is.

when you've been a paying scientologist for many years, and are sufficiently brainwashed, the "secrets" of the religion are revealed to you. here's a rough outline: long ago, there was an evil alien warlord in another galaxy. this alien overlord thought that his galaxy was overpopulated, so he rounded up aliens of different kinds, froze them (huh!?), and then shipped them off to earth. there, the frozen aliens were dumped into a hawaiian volcano (that's right) and they died. but...their souls began to escape (into the sky...), so that alien overlord had spaceships capture the souls and brainwash them. the poor formerly frozen, brainwashed alien souls ended their exodus by residing in the bodies of cavemen. that's fucking right...the cavemen. [hey, at least this "religion" incorporates evolution properly ;)] nowadays, all of our fears, anxieties, and general "issues" are due to the way those alien souls inside us were brainwashed by the evil alien overlord.

that's it. it almost makes you want to drink some cyanide the next time a comet appears. i had thought about a detailed analysis of why the scientology cult is ridiculous, but if you don't get it by reading the above, i hate you and insist that you stop reading my blog and go fuck yourself.

kolekole pass

2005-11-15T21:04:00.000-10:00

so, sunday after a nice day relaxing at three tables on the north shore, dave and liz took me on a brief hike to a lookout. its about a 15 minute drive into schofield military base, and then a 10 minute hike. along the way there's this weird stone where ancient hawaiians used to sacrifice defeated military chiefs:

liz is pretending to be decapitated (and apparently its funny enough to smile). there's a nice outcropping of rock here that looks over a huge valley to the ocean on the western part of oahu...great for sunset.

i liked this place because it was so quiet, and the sunset made the scenery more vivid, even in spite of the haze that plagued the whole island that day.

anyway, here's me pretending to be ansel adams and photographing the moonrise over this ridge.

parallel universe

2005-11-07T22:06:00.000-10:00

so, i was flipping around on TV and caught this episode of "Futurama" which caused me to write. if you don't know what Futurama is (dave) you're missing out. anyway, in may i went and spoke to 3rd graders at my mom's school about astronomy, space, etc. in this one classroom i had this kid (in a hilarious full sweatsuit...in may) who asked me how many universes there were. i never know how to respond immediately to such a question, because the "multiverse" concept is probably just as valid as any other. the real answer is maybe 1, maybe infinite...there's absolutely no way of knowing (so why should we care?). i tried to explain that quickly to avoid follow-ups. but he persisted: "aren't there only 2?" that surprised me enough that i indulged him...i asked which 2. he calmly (and seriously) responded "well, our universe, and the parallel cowboy universe". his classmates laughed at him and others began asking questions.

but, for the next 35 minutes this kid just kept asking about the "cowboy universe", and "could we really go to the edge of our universe, and see ourselves as cowboys waving back to us?" it was all i could do not to laugh in this 8-year-old's face...not so much because of his questions, but because i knew the source of his confusion: this Futurama episode (where just what he's describing happens...nevermind the lobster doctor or alcoholic robot). of course, being a respectable "adult", i had to pretend i had no idea what educational "show" he was claiming informed him of all this could be. anyway, its a great show, and it was just so funny to be reminded of how zealously devoted this poor kid was to the truth that there were 2 universes: the one we live in, and a similar one where we're all cowboys.

ps: remember when hiroshi was drunk and trying to teach us how to say "parallel" in engrish? that was funny...in a retarded kind of way.

the chosen one

2005-10-30T21:52:00.000-10:00

on friday i went snorkeling in kona on the big island at this neat little beach near the outrigger. some old dude who was hitting on sandrine at another beach recommended it as "like swimming in a fish bowl". he was definitely right...lots of fish, nice coral, and these really cool volcanic vents that spewed up warm water. but, most impressive were all the turtles swimming around. in roughly chest-deep water, i stood and watched these 2 turtles feed on a large coral deposit less than a foot away. suddenly, the bigger of the two (literally larger than me) swam over, poked its head above water (to breathe), and bumped its face into my stomach. now, there are two ways to interpret this: (1) turtles are dumb and it may have been seeing if there was any algae attached to me, in which case i'm glad it didn't bite me because that would have required stitches, or (2) i have been selected as the chosen representative for turtles on land. i never thought the messianic feelings i have deep inside me would manifest themselves in the turtle world, but clearly i've been chosen. and that's all i have to say about that.

i hate rich people and smelly people

2005-10-17T17:13:00.000-10:00

part 1: ok, this is a rant, and it might be mean (and fatist). so, sunday morning i went to this pancake house in wilmette, IL...the suburb right next to where i went to college, on the "north shore" (ie, Lake Michigan shoreline north of Chicago). they have great pancakes, but every time i go there, i'm reminded of how ridiculous the rich people who live on the north shore are, and why i want to slash the tires of their lexus SUVs. obviously, not everyone from the north shore is a prick (e.g., jackie, choi, julia), but a lot of them are (e.g., bram: for those of you in hawaii, think trent...and then think of trent flinging shit at you, and you'll understand). so i'm in line to this place (its really good), and there's this guy, probably mid-40s, i immediately notice trying to act all cool and non-chalant. he's wearing a nylon-y zip-up shirt (tight), has really bad sideburns which i'm sure he thinks are cool, and is clearly wearing designer jeans. its impossible to describe how big of a douchebag this guy is...but trust me. it took all of my willpower not to try and choke him out in front of everyone. but worse...there's 3 eleven-year-old kids with him. i'll only take the time to describe one of them: the future biggest douchebag on earth. this kid is wearing black pinstripe pants, held up with a multicolored tie as a belt. he wore an intentionally-faded t-shirt for the band "Yes" and a denim jacket with bright white stitching...a pin with the symbol for a women's restroom was affixed to it (i can only hope this encourages women to pee on him). he had blonde hair which was clearly colored in a salon, a small diamond studded earring, and wore a chunky ring on each hand. it made me wish i had a kid. because then my kid and i could beat up him and his dad for being tools. this guy was obviously very wealthy, and it was clearly family money because there's no way anyone would take him seriously enough to pay him enough to be that wealthy.

part 2: on the plane on monday, i sat across the aisle from an obese woman with greasy hair and a fanny pack. even before we took off, i and the people around me realized that this woman was gassy...and it was gross. i mean gassy like you dry-heave, and the air feels hot and thick. this continued every 45 minutes or so for 9 hours. but, with about 3 hours left, this woman pulls a ziploc baggie out of her fanny pack. in the baggie were roughly 6 hard-boiled eggs which she covered in salt. she proceeded to eat 6 fucking eggs in less than 10 minutes (yes, i timed it). then, as if that wasn't enough fuel on the fire, she proceeded to eat a large chunk of muenster cheese. now, at this point i can only assume that this woman decided that she was going to intentionally pollute the plane. i thought about filing a police report for violating my civil rights.

part 3: last week i was at a sushi restaurant and there was this baby. while otherwise normal, the baby had the largest head i've ever seen on a baby, and probably the largest head-to-body ratio (mass and volume) of any human being in recorded history. i was glad to leave the restaurant, because i think he was beginning to control my thoughts with his gargantuan brain.

bender

2005-10-11T07:51:00.000-10:00

so i went to st. louis (on a train) this weekend to visit my friend adam (and his dog). as usual in such a situation, we spent most of the time drinking, "etc." in a room (or hallway) with six doors (long story). for 4 straight days we began drinking by about 3pm and i'm pretty sure yesterday i had DTs (despite having a huge 32oz beer at lunch). anyway, its always good to clean out those weak brain cells and get started all over again with new fresh ones. the added fun was hanging out with his adorable dog:

who, for this one second, was capable of posing for me without running all over the place. anyway, it was a really fun, relaxed (except for the substantial abuse of my liver) weekend.

here's danielle (adam's sister) chilling out with mishmish. apparently i was out of it enough this weekend that this is the sole picture i took of another human being.

i like chicago

2005-10-11T07:40:00.000-10:00

i'd like to just remind everyone that chicago is a really nice city. its clean, there are no crystal meth addicts (at least visible), there's a lot of stuff to do, nice restaurants, etc. etc. sadly, last week when i was down there, my camera decided to become unable to take nice pictures:

this is "the bean" (not claire)...a really neat sculpture in millenium park on lake michigan. its basically a super-reflective jellybean that gives great views of the skyline, especially at sunset. unfortunately, its not quite done being polished yet. but you get the idea.

this is a highly-modified picture of the chicago skyline from navy pier on the lake. stupid sun washed out the normal picture, so i had to take measures into my own hands. kinda ridiculous that i walked around taking pictures for 3-4 hours and this is all i have to show for it, but whatever. the point is, chicago is nicer than honolulu, at least in terms of "city"-ness and the absence (or at least toned-down level) of drug addicts.

midwest

2005-10-06T14:12:00.000-10:00

so, i've been in chicago for a few days, and took the train to st. louis today to visit my friend adam and his amazing fantastical wonder dog (mishmish). i have a lot of pictures, but no way to download them (yet). i just wanted to point out that people in the midwest seem to smoke a lot more than i remembered, and people are also fatter than i remember. much fatter.

if anyone has any realistic suggestions on how to kidnap a 10 lb puppy, i would really appreciate it. keep in mind i can't really run, and don't have a car. i'll write more with pictures next week. but now its 7:15pm, and i need to work on the buzz that has so far entailed 7 beers and a glass of arak (that's a black licorice flavored 80 proof liquor from israel). be amazed at the coherent typing and lack of spelling errors...biatch.

ability to avoid snake blood

2005-09-28T20:33:00.000-10:00

so, i've learned in the last 12 hours that i'm going to taiwan for a week in december...some vague workshop that jonathan (my advisor) was invited to and offered money to bring a PhD student (me). i wasn't sure i wanted to go at first. well, i wanted to go to see a (small) part of asia, but i didn't because i now realize conferences generally suck...and i figured random taiwanese people would suck even more at a conference.

my goals: absorb the insane complexities of taipei (supposedly like manhatten, but filled with asian food and even more life-threatening driving) and avoid drinking the blood of a recently murdered snake (like jackie did there....ewwww! then again, this is someone who has no qualms -- actually derives a sick sense of pleasure -- from having eaten some of my skin). what else happens there? well, people eat animal penises and dig up the graves of their ancestors, clean and paint their bones, then rebury them after a ceremony which can only be described as voodoo-like. awesome.

(by the way, people who study dust for the sake of studying dust are huge fucking tools. my favorite people here: the "famous" german dude who has sweat through his shirt by 8am because he's so fat and eats like 50 pastries; this guy who wears super, super short, tight khaki shorts, double-strapped velcro shoes and a moustache; the 11 different guys today who were wearing capri pants, despite this being a meeting about planetary dust and not our homosexual pride...uh, not that we shouldn't be proud)

apricot dog

2005-09-27T10:15:00.000-10:00

my friend adam got a puppy last week, and here's a picture of it:

her name is mishmish (pronounced meesh-meesh), which is Hebrew for apricot. claire might eat her (which is think is a bad idea in general).

anyway, i'm on kauai at this dust conference. sadly, i'm tired and not in the mood so its not so much fun as it is 'not fun'. i wish i was more interested in the topic, but maybe dave and liz would like it more...there's lots of mineral talk that instantly glazes me over. hopefully tomorrow afternoon i'll get to do some adventuring.

day 9: it is done

2005-09-21T01:12:00.000-10:00

ok, this is the second longest i've ever been on Mauna Kea at one time. overall, i've head less headaches, but not so much fun. i spent 2 hours tonight sitting inside a tiny room connected to a radio antenna slowly turning a micrometer to manually cool a cryostat to 4 K. i actually thought i might cry from the sheer boredom.

in 8 nights of observing, we did not acquire 1 second of science data due to both bad weather and necessary engineering tests. i accomplished virtually nothing except for a surprising intake of juicy-juice and ice cream. i was served fried chicken for both lunch and dinner today.

anyway, after sleeping one last night with mild hypoxia (and possibly altitude-induced sleep apnea) i will get to drive down to hilo tomorrow afternoon and fly back to honolulu. i'm looking forward to a drink (or five)....and not writing in this stupid blog for a while.

day 8: so close...but so far

2005-09-20T01:14:00.000-10:00

hey there kids...so, here's the good news: there's more juicy-juice, i'm almost done, and i finished my talk (although its crap). here's the bad news: i feel shitty, i drank all the juicy-juice, and i'm stuck up here with the whiniest thing ever produced by human sexual intercourse.

at least i got to have fun wandering from antenna to antenna tonight in the dark. of course, i have no idea what i'm doing, so i couldn't fix anything.

day 7: i see the light

2005-09-19T03:18:00.000-10:00

suddenly it feels like i really will - some day - leave this place, and return to an altitude more suitable for my fragile Irish blood. coming up here for this long only reminds me that I could never be a sherpa (a thought which pains me more than you'll ever know). i spent less time procrastinating today, which is good. but some time in the past few days (my memory is about as good as a filthy paint huffer) i read this great NYT op-ed piece which rips Bush a new one (can I say that?...gross) and is really funny at the same time (especially for having been written by a fat white man). If you're not convinced yet to read it, the title is: "Message: I care about the black folks". speaking of which (huh?), fuck the NYT for changing and making people pay to read the op-eds. its almost as if they're concerned about how little work I'm getting done.

you know what else? they served "captain's platter" for dinner tonight...again. seriously, i thought about leaping over the counter and shoving the 350-lb. sweaty guy's face into the fryer. but i realized the suicidal guy who's moustache looks fake would've taken me out with the cleaver he had (why do you need a cleaver to cut watermelon? and more importantly, what's with all the fucking watermelon?).

day 6: oww...

2005-09-18T05:10:00.000-10:00

its 5:15am and my eyes hurt.

day 5: my own worst enemy

2005-09-17T01:52:00.000-10:00

ok, for some reason i have been so reluctant to finish working on this hour-long talk i have to give next week. i've been hitting maybe 3 slides per night...per 8 hour, nothing else to do but sit here, night! its like taking a swig of something awful - goldschlager comes to mind - every time i write a few words or add a figure. my mind and body hate me for working on it. i've been spending more time marvelling at how much i hate working on it than actually working on it!

anyway, i'm really tired of writing in here everyday. the altitude has sapped all my creativity, and has made me hungry. or maybe its the fact that i didn't want to eat the "captain's platter", which in HP parlance means various fried "seafood": oysters, shrimp, fish, scallops, and my favorite, the mysterious rectangular patty of soft white stuff (that would be liz's favorite). ooh...even dessert was fried (you know those mcdonald's apple pies? imagine them fried a second time for extra crispiness). i ate rice and watermelon like i was stuck in a turkish prison.

i think in my dream my job was to help people sleep. i did this by choking people unconscious...and i was wearing robes. the people also paid me for this (beforehand). it'll get weirder the longer i'm up here. i think i freaked shelbi out by telling her about my hanging-corpse-in-the-shower dream from earlier in the summer.

day 4: juicy-juice

2005-09-16T03:00:00.000-10:00

remember juicy-juice? in those cans you had to puncture twice to get it out? well, at HP its in box form, and its the only genuine juice available (i.e., not from some giant scary fountain machine). and sadly, i think i've single-handedly drank it all. for the third straight night we came down early due to rain. hilo has flash-flooding. it might be time to start building an ark.

mmm...juice.

day 3: groundhog day

2005-09-14T23:33:00.000-10:00

if you've never seen the movie "groundhog day", go rent it...its hilarious. what's not hilarious is that the premise of the movie (the same events keep recurring but only bill murray knows it) is representative of the last 2 days. no observing again tonight, but i did get some pretty pictures out in the array during sunset...

oh...i also feel guilty about my fat-bashing yesterday, especially when i realized that the girl is friends with ahia. i spent all dinner trying to figure out how the hell i knew this girl...and finally i remembered it was ahia. jackass. anyway, nothing else exciting happened, and i'm too tired to be funny. and my knee hurts from the altitude, which makes me want to bitchslap everyone who asks me "so how long do you have to walk like that?" seriously, evgenya asked me that this afternoon. i told her 3 more days, then i would be fine. she looked at me kinda shocked and i stormed (limped?) off.

day 2: bring on the nothing

2005-09-13T21:47:00.000-10:00

i had trouble sleeping past 10am (despite going to sleep around 4am). i woke up a lot (mmm...hypoxia) and, in (i think) several different dreams i was moving large carpets for various people. anyway, i rescind my hatred for the japanese, as i found a $12 recumbent bike in the lounge area of HP this morning. people who drifted through looked at me as if i was dangling a small child over the edge of a balcony just because i was exercising. god forbid i avoid obesity you fat bastards. especially this one girl who's always here, and is always talking about her "diet" (I'm sorry, but only manatees like yourself eat french fries while dieting). what gets me is this girl always wears shirts that are way...way too short and we all have to watch her pasty hip lobes spill over the side of a chair (while she eats...seemingly continuously). wow...altitude makes me hate fat people. who knew?

there were rumors it was snowing on the summit. the rangers blatantly made up those rumors, but i'm not sure why. they must have been confused by the fact that there was no white crap falling from the sky, or on the ground. i bet it threw them off that it was 50 degrees on the summit too. anyway, as you can see above, it was pretty foggy on the way up to the summit. but not snowing. [i'm pissed because i got harrassed for deciding not to put chains on the tires by a ranger. i basically, in less blunt terms, told him i didn't need them because i wasn't a pussy]

anyway, it was sunny at the top, where i got this cool picture of the shadow from Poliahu crater. i basically climbed into one of the antennas for 10 minutes and came back to the control room. i've done nothing but work since then, as the weather crapped out after sunset. the good news is we'll probably leave before midnight tonight.

day 1: "acclimatizing"

2005-09-12T23:57:00.000-10:00

knowing how remarkably uneventful astronomical observing can be (particularly when you're not even observing your own targets), i decided to give a day-by-day description of this long trip. i'll try and keep it interesting.

i got on an earlier flight (with virtually no one on it) this afternoon, but realized i had forgotten to bring the food (hummous, pita, kit-kat) i had packed. knowing i had to sit in the SMA office building until ~10pm, i needed to get food. solution? grilled cheese at the crappy airport bar. enh. i saw this guy i've met up on the summit and at some conference at the bar, but ignored him. i remember him being boring and geeky. after that i got some work done in the SMA visitors office. hilo is rainy (holy crap rainy).

it being late at night, there's nothing too interesting to take pictures of...but for reality's sake:

here's a picture of my room for the next 9 nights. at least i got something on the 1st floor of the nearest dorm (only about 30 steps to climb each way).

these are the 4 essential items for observing: hoodie, water bottle, chapstick (so, so, so important), and a book. of course, the single most important item (after pants) is the laptop (not shown).

on the way up to HP (Hale Pohaku, the Mauna Kea dorms at ~9500 feet) the telescope operator (Shelbi) and i saw this weird, large, hopping thing. kinda looked like a big, earless jackrabbit. i can only assume it was a wombat (aside: wombats, while not indigenous to Hawaii, are fucking awesome). its already late and i'm tired, but i should stay up for a while longer to make sure i get on schedule. i hate the japanese because the Subaru telescope people stole the workout room for their office. no bike-riding to fix my knee. i can only hope that eating ice cream and other crappy stuff has the same effect as good exercise.

speaking of which...above is my solace at least for the next few days. mint chocolate chip ice cream. its been months since that flavor and i have met here at HP, and i couldn't be more overjoyed to see it. so overjoyed, in fact, that i'm not ashamed by the strange looks i got for photographing a tub of ice cream.

bendy again :)

2005-09-01T19:55:00.000-10:00

so, my knee is "fixed"...at least i can start the rehabilitation part. its only about 45% bendy now, but hopefully within a month i'll be close to 100% (bendiness). i lost more than 1" in circumference around my thigh in the last month due to atrophy. but, i'm just excited that i was able to sleep on my stomach for the first time in a month.

check out this freakin' sunset from the other night (from my lanai)...it was crazy.

Jesus hates genetic mutations...but loves you

2005-08-29T19:25:00.000-10:00

so, the other day i read this interesting NYT op-ed piece about 'intelligent design'...an idea (not a theory) which may end up competing with evolution in elementary and high schools around the country. as with most of our country's problems, intelligent design is being advanced by the conservative religious right, like George Bush (who is not intelligent and most likely part retarded) and Bill Frist (who is a medical doctor and senator who advocated that it is possible to get HIV from spit or tears on national television...yet, his medical license was not revoked and he was not stoned to death for being an ass). it really strikes me as weird that people are using Christianity to decry the theory of evolution.

where, in the Bible, does it say there was no evolution? basically this is simply a shockingly literal interpretation of the creation story in Genesis, where God just randomly makes all the animals. for now, let's ignore the fact that Christians randomly decide when to interpret their scriptures literally (like this creation story) or metaphorically (like virtually everything Jesus says). why is intelligent design more intelligent than evolution? evolution is probably the most intricately sophisticated biological principle we know of...why is God not intelligent enough to come up with it? in fact, if you think about it, intelligent design is inherently a concept too vapid for a supreme being...it doesn't require intelligence to just make everything all at once.

anyway, read that article, especially if you're one of those arrogant enough to believe in intelligent design (seriously, who gets off claiming God isn't clever or patient enough to utilize evolutionary biology?).

just beachy

2005-08-28T22:45:00.000-10:00

sweet...spent all weekend at the beach. kailua with dave on thursday, then liz joined us for ko'olina on friday, and kailua again on saturday. so much for getting back to work ;)

this sums up the weekend...laying around with the guitar (here at ko'olina resort)...which i still can't play, despite maybe 45 whole minutes of practicing.

entertaining yourself on the beach is remarkably easy...

this is one of my favorite sunset pictures in hawaii...friday night at ko'olina. thought we'd have more clouds, but it cleared right before sundown, but it still was nice.

saturday night at my place...liz makes us martinis. i swear her, dave, and i talked for at least 10 hours that day. that's such a cool thing.

ok, i have real thoughts, but i'm lazy until tomorrow.

ode to fire relish

2005-08-26T12:11:00.000-10:00

sadly, last night my favorite batch of z'chug was finished. seriously, this was the hottest, meanest z'chug i ever made, and i was so proud of it. it had lasted a long time (roughly 6 weeks) and continued to get hotter and tastier with each day. so many people had tried it (Claire, Rita, Dave, Liz, Emily, Steve, Gloria, Lucas, Ifat - and she was scared, Sandrine, and maybe others) and i had added it to many new things (good = falafel mix, bad = chicken soup). so, can i top it? i'll try next week, but one batch will be shipped off to Massachussetts for a second opinion.

isolated comfort

2005-08-22T14:33:00.000-10:00

i've decided i should work from home all the time.

i get this great view of the waianae mountains (see above), its sunny and breezy, i can blast music and eat good food (mmm...roasted red pepper omelet), watch the Cubs game on mute, relax on a pile of pillows (much more comfortable for my un-bendable knee), don't have to shower or shave, and can procrastinate with the guitar or a good book instead of the internet (ok...maybe that's an ironic statement). plus, i don't think i can argue that i'm more productive at work anymore.

i guess that's all well and good, considering i need to cram in 2 months of work into about 10 days. i can't believe how little i accomplished (work-wise) this summer...its hilarious, and i don't regret it for a second...but at the same time its stressful now. i wonder if my knee injury was a sign...stay away from the beach and get some of this stuff done ;)

speaking of which, here's a funny picture from saturday afternoon in kailua of liz and one of her favorite rant subjects. i'm thinking about drawing a thought bubble around it...(btw, when we went out that night, dave drank beer exclusively. it was weird, but i think its safe to say we're all proud of him).

in the last week it seems like everything's gone quiet...in the news-ish world and real life. maybe when i get my leg back i'll be more exciting...you know, kicking people, running around, and what not. in the meantime, you can bask in the end of the Gaza disengagement and the hope that it does some good: check out this op-ed by Elie Wiesel, or future recommendations from Dennis Ross.

personality test

2005-08-18T22:40:00.000-10:00

if i gave you $100,000 and 6 months to do whatever you wanted without consequences (you can return to your normal life without any problems...job, bills, etc.), would you do the same things if you only had 6 months to live?

i wouldn't, but i was trying to figure out why. i figured this was the most appropriate place to bring it up ;)

dislocation [?, yeah] and disengagement II

2005-08-17T12:01:00.000-10:00

in the few days since the end of the traditional Jewish mourning period, Israel has begun to remove settlers from Gaza and the northern West Bank. on the whole, this important but difficult unilateral step has proceeded well. two incidents of Jewish terrorism have not stopped the progress. large numbers of IDF soldiers have not refused orders. the tearful, desperate, heart-wrenching pleas of people begging not to have to leave the homes they love - either because of the profound belief that God gave it rightfully to them, or because they have worked hard to develop a loving, close-knit community, or because they worry that leaving will only create a safehouse for terrorists - have not interrupted the removals, despite the pain and sense of betrayal they may produce in the soldiers. within days, there will not be a single Jew in Gaza.

the great Jewish trauma of wandering...being pushed around the Earth for millenia (think about that) because of blind hatred, fear, or scapegoating...is all the more devastating when it is their fellow Jews removing them from their traditional home: the land that literally defines *who* they are. if them leaving now doesn't elicit some sympathy from the Palestinians - a people who have themselves been defined by the victimization of their eviction - and stop people from blowing themselves up in cafes, what more can be done? the unilateral technique is not ideal...but this may be the last chance for a long time for the Arabs to seize an opportunity to forward the peace process.

melon day

2005-08-13T23:52:00.000-10:00

'melon day' (friday) was the special in-denial codeword for claire's last day in hawaii before she had to go back to new york and school. it started off pretty relaxed and casually slow-moving....

eventually we made it out to sunset to hang out on the beach and watch the sunset (thus the name...genius, i know). i'm not sure what liz and claire are thinking, but i like to think they're either mutually reflecting on the last 2 months together or are equally in awe at some fat, pasty tourist.

after a good dinner, we settled in for some good fun. dave and i are sober. period.

sadly, the pictures i have of "everybody" didn't turn out well...ok, there was one good one, but liz was blocking claire out, and that's a lame picture to show of claire's last day. but i like this one of claire...she looks thoughtful, reminiscent, and kinda cold ;).

anyway, it was a fun night that turned poignantly odd (see the previous entry) on a whole bunch of levels. without getting too personal in such an inappropriate format, i would be wrong to leave out that i had a ton of fun with claire over the last six weeks or so, and i'll miss her a lot.

sleepless in pupukeia (a rant)

2005-08-13T22:40:00.000-10:00

this is a ridiculous story. so last night after drinking and "celebrating" claire's stay in hawaii, i get back to the north shore house around 3am, aiming to get some serious sleep after getting next to nothing since tuesday. i was supposed to sleep in a small bedroom in the back, but thought it was occupied based on steve's absence from the couch. i assumed i should just try and crash on the couch...next to a drunken hiroshi on the floor. a very...very drunken hiroshi (see below):

conveniently, as i laid down, hiroshi started snoring so loud it was as if i was trying to sleep on the tarmac at Honolulu international. after about half an hour of praying he would shut the fuck up, i decided to head outside and rest on the grass...see if i i could spot any more meteors. sadly, it started raining on me...and then i remembered (damn booze) that my knee is retarded and i couldn't really get up! in the pouring rain, i struggled over to the tree house ladder, and also realized i couldn't climb that to sleep in the hammock. after deciding not to sleep on the porch with the dogs - because hiroshi's snoring was not at all damped out by the *walls of the house* - i had to swallow my pride and sit on the couch for 2 hours and scowl at him while he sucked what little air he could through his nasty, drunken vomit throat. you know those moments when you're so tired that you just universally wish ill, and often elaborate, punishments upon anyone who's either keeping you up or trying to wake you? that was my night.

anyway, after literally not sleeping for one second all night, i got up to clean dishes with claire. about an hour later, i realized that the bed i was going to sleep in was indeed unoccupied...i had never bothered to check if i could squeeze into the one room with some protection from the rage-inducing cacaphony of snoring. dumbass.

the last supper

2005-08-11T23:43:00.000-10:00

so claire wanted me to cook good middle eastern food for everyone before she left...

the rainbow was a good omen. my knee is only partly messed up...apparently it dislocated and relocated but not quite all the way. surgery may be avoidable...we're trying to get some soft tissue to re-develop over the next 3 weeks.

here's the (partial) spread. i made burekas, hummous, baba ghanouj, shwarma, falafel, pita, tahina, etc. etc. etc.

note the amorous effects of good food. ;)

half the island in a day...

2005-08-10T21:16:00.000-10:00

...and with a messed up knee. so, we had an errand night/day combined with seeing some stuff which needed to be seen.

started off with late-night baking cookies for claire's officemates.

continued with a trip to the swap meet, where i was forced to play a pink ukulele...

and ended with a round-the-island (windward side) trip on a beautiful day. tired...but perfect.

seriously...i'm 26 and these are my knees:

2005-08-08T20:59:00.000-10:00

as promised...here's the picture of my knees. the left one broke twice more than a decade ago, and the right one is newly messed up. believe it or not, the swelling is way...way better now. and the red is just because i recently iced it.

i realize dwelling on this is unhealthy...but i've been stuck here with nothing to do (except work) for days...so piss off.

dislocation [?] and disengagement

2005-08-07T21:56:00.000-10:00

i'm still immobilized. i haven't left my apartment since friday morning, and i've gone through complete withdrawal stages from basic human contact...maybe i'm getting rickets from being out of the sun too. ok, but seriously, this has been the most depressing, boring weekend i can imagine in recent history. at least rita has been checking in and keeping me company...that's my solace from insanity. i've decided its either my ACL or a cartilage tear. i'm counting on surgery either way, which kinda sucks...but i wish i could just get it over with.

while i'm stuck in my home, its only 1 week until Jewish settlers in Gaza will be forced from theirs. all along i've been completely behind this move, seeing it as a bold initiative (obviously not ideal) to rejuvenate the peace process when no other decent alternative exists (the Bush administration's "road map" is really only a half-assed PR move). but i have to admit i am starting to see the pain on the other side...being forced from your home would obviously be hard, especially if you genuinely believed it will only present a greater danger for the land you love (ie, when Hamas takes over the strip). more on this later.

joint pain and the Kach movement

2005-08-04T22:11:00.000-10:00

so, last night at jiu-jitsu my right knee (note: the left knee is already messed up) twisted during a stand-up take-down (watch out for liz...she's vicious...j/k). it hurt a lot for a while, but now i'm just immobilized and i hate that. i saw a "doctor" this afternoon. the "doctor" basically was like: "wow...that's a swollen knee. does it hurt?" i always appreciate such professional observations. anyway, i have to wait until monday to see an orthopedic surgeon and get an MRI and all that. thanks to those of you who cared enough to help or check in on me...

earlier today some Jewish nutjob started shooting on a bus in an Arab Druze neighborhood in the west bank. naturally, this guy was a Kach sympathizer (look it up jackass), and was basically acting on every non-extremist Jew's fear in the state of Israel. the reason i think this is so upsetting is that religious Jews *have* the high road until this kind of thing happens. you can always question Israeli military actions, but the impetus for better behavior in the Muslim-Jewish *religious* conflict - which is the genuinely underlying problem - is on the Muslims. Let's not kid ourselves...its not on the every-man in the west bank, but you sully the name of your religious brethren when you blow yourself up on a bus. You do the same when you mow down worshippers in the Mosque of Ibrahim or passengers on a bus (Druze passengers no less...what's that about?). the #1 complaint of the Sharon government against Abu Mazen is that he's not taking action against, eg Hamas. sadly, Sharon loses the high road for not doing enough against the Kach movement.

ok...time to attempt to take a shower. ;)